


No Trains On Sundays

by Welcome_to_Illyria



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 1980s, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Christmas, Chronic Illness, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gay Sirius Black, HIV/AIDS Crisis, M/M, POV Sirius Black, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Trains, Young Remus Lupin, Young Sirius Black, mlm, pub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2020-07-19 13:57:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19975204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Welcome_to_Illyria/pseuds/Welcome_to_Illyria
Summary: This is why Sirius could never live in the country, no trains until Monday?What the hell was he going to do until then?





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

**No Trains On Sundays**

**December 1986**

* * *

Sirius pulled down the sleeve of his jacket and wiped the condensation from the train window; peering through it he watched as the sodden countryside whipped by.

“Here you go mate,” he looked up to a steaming coffee cup held in an outstretched hand, he took it and James sat down in the folding seat opposite him, wrapping both hands around his own cup and blowing on it gently; the steam rose and hit his glasses fogging them up completely and he grinned at Sirius. The train was packed, everyone North of Newcastle seemed to be returning to London for Christmas. Luggage was piled high on the racks and over-spilled into the aisle, an errant four wheel suitcase had steadily been approaching them since the last station and Sirius slid forward in his seat to nudge it back into place with the toe of his boot. The two young men had found the fold-down seats in the partition between two carriages and, to Sirius’ bemusement, James had, quite matter of factly told him that, as they were so very well positioned this was the perfect moment to reignite their rivalry of ‘Platform Hopping’. Sirius was down three to one, the combination of his inane need to look cool at all times and his recent knee injury had led to the faster, and far more enthusiastic James to race ahead in the league. Sirius had watched as James eagerly darted from the train door to the nearest wall or sign on the platform and back, dodging suitcases, pedestrians, and the very unamused conductor who had glared daggers at the two every time he passed them on his travels up and down the train. Sirius rubbed his knee unconsciously and sipped his black coffee.

“Still hurts then?” James asked, nodding his head towards Sirius’ leg.

“Nah, not really, Sirius replied, “twinges a bit sometimes but it’s alright.”

“Well, the next station’s tiny so you should be fine,” James winked. “Unless you want to forfeit?”

“Never,” Sirius replied, grinning. He looked over at his friend who was finishing the last dregs of his no doubt disgustingly sugary drink and smiled to himself. He and James had been friends since the first day of secondary school, when James had stood up for him for the oversized three piece suit his mother had forced him into. They had been inseparable ever since, he had had reservations about applying for, and then being accepted to the same University but now he wouldn’t change it for anything. Despite the fact that without James, his knee would be in perfect shape as it was he who had dared Sirius to climb to the top of the University founder statue and place a pair of reindeer antlers on its head. The dare was completed but on the way down Sirius had slipped on a patch of ice and jarred his knee. He couldn’t stay mad at him for long though, without James he would be staying in halls alone for Christmas as it was to James’ they were heading, a Christmas tradition dating back to Year 10. James’ family had accepted him wholeheartedly into their family and he had finally been able to experience a normal, functional, loving family, so far removed from the family he was born into.

“Why are you staring at me?” James inquired, raising an eyebrow.

Sirius felt his cheeks warm as he tried to find the words. “You ever think about how we’ve been friends for like, a decade?” he finally asked.

“Mad isn’t it? I’ve been waiting for you to pop the question for, ooh, at least half that time,” James replied. Sirius chuckled and took a sip of his coffee, glad that the moment hadn’t become sappy and uncomfortable. “Um…speaking of which,” James paused, he adjusted his glasses, pushing them up his nose, a tell tale sign Sirius knew, that he was looking for the right words. “I’ve been thinking and, well… I think I might…um.” Sirius leant forward slightly in his seat to make sure he could hear his friend over the rattling of the train. “Well… I think I’m gonna ask Lily." James finally said, glancing up sheepishly.

Sirius furrowed his brow, “Ask her to do what?”

James rolled his eyes dramatically, “To…marry me.” Sirius sat back sharply making the seat hinges creak, his lips formed unspoken words as he processed the information. Lily had been James' girlfriend since First Year, they had met, to Sirius' dismay in Freshers week. James had become instantly besotted, tactlessly joining every student club and team she was part of, attending every rally and fundraiser she organised, meanwhile never shutting up about the gregarious French literature student with the fiery red hair. He had pursued her doggedly for several months, much to Sirius' embarrassment and her aloof bemusement. Sirius, couldn't quite see what the fuss was about, nonetheless, had had encouraged James through the book club reading assignments and helped him paint signs and banners for whatever bleeding heart cause Lily had contrived to eradicate that week. It wasn't until Sirius had bumped into her, just before Christmas, at an LGB mixer that he had categorically barred James from attending, did they actually get to speak heart to heart. Sirius, half drunk on Baileys had sung James' praises and earnestly asked Lily to give the poor man a shot. He had woken the next morning to a splitting headache and a frantic James jumping on his bed yelling something about an upcoming date. Needless to say, the following Christmas had been almost unbearable.

It wasn’t until Sirius looked back at James did he see the fear in his eyes. “You think it’s crazy, I know you and Lil have not always seen eye to eye on everything but honestly I think you’re both too stubborn to see just how similar you are and…” James blurted out.

Sirius interrupted him before he could continue. “Mate, mate, mate what are you on about?” Sirius stood and stepped unsteadily towards James who also got up, “that is bloody incredible!” Sirius wrapped the somewhat startled James in a hug.

“You reckon she’ll say yes?” James asked as they separated.

“She’d have to be mad not too, mate, honestly I see the way she looks at you and it’s obvious she’s just as madly in love.” James beamed and sat down, Sirius turned and took his seat. “You two are insufferable you’re so in love, reminds me of the way your parents look at each other.” James made a face but Sirius continued, “Well I can’t exactly use my parents as the yardstick by which to measure affection, they look at each other like…,” he paused as the conductor marched through the compartment between them, the portly man glared icily at James, “…like that,” Sirius finished and they both fell about laughing.

The train began to slow as they approached the next station, Sirius finished his coffee and slid the empty cup into the bin in the wall next to him and looked out of the window. “So shall we say if you make this it’s a draw, you are an invalid after all,” James asked motioning at the looming station.

“Come off it mate, you’ve just told me you’re gonna get married and now you want me to play Platform Hop like we’re 13 again?" Sirius rolled his eyes and smirked, settling down into his seat and propping his legs against the opposite wall mutinously.

“Come on, think of it as an early engagement present, for old times sake,” James countered, pushing Sirius’s boots away from his shoulder.

Sirius sighed and stood up, the train was almost at the station and he could see the fine misty rain they had been passing through for the last few hours was heavier now, large rivulets of water ran diagonally along the glass and a cold wind forced its way through the gap under the door. “Fine,” he sighed again, more dramatically, “where to?”

James stood behind him and peered out the window, “To the sign and back,” he said, indicating with a finger to the sign that hung above the waiting room of what had to be the smallest station Sirius had ever seen. The train clanked to a halt and Sirius pulled down the handle and jumped onto the platform, he glared at James as his shoulder-length black hair dampened immediately over his face. He turned and bolted towards the waiting room, crossing the platform, up three steps and under the station canopy; he jumped up and smacked the wooden panel with his hand and turned on his heel. Something under his foot gave way and he threw out his hands and caught himself on one of the wooden pillars that held the platform cover, his knee twisted and he swore loudly. He began to limp back towards the train but just as he got to the door it swung closed, he looked up, annoyed that James would try and sabotage him only to see the jowly red face of the conductor glaring down at him, he heard a click and the face disappeared only to be replaced a few moments later with James’. Sirius scoffed and reached for the door handle, he tried turning it but it wouldn’t budge, he looked back up at James with alarm and twisted it harder but it remained firmly in place. Sirius looked down the length of the train but all the other doors were closed as well, wide eyed in disbelief he looked back up as James jimmied the window open but that too was stuck in the frame and only allowed a two inch gap at the top. “What the hell?” Sirius yelled over the wind, “try your handle,” he shielded his eyes from the rain with his arm and saw James furiously tugging on the handle on his side of the door.

“It’s locked, I can’t open it,” James answered through the gap, “try another door!”

Before Sirius could make a move towards one of the closer doors he heard a whistle and the grind of metal on metal as the train began to move. “Shit!” Sirius yelled again, “what the hell am I going to do now?”

James yanked at the window once more and it fell into place, the train began moving off. “Catch the next train to Paddington, I’ll try and wait for you there” James said, Sirius nodded, limping as he tried to keep pace with the departing train. “Call my parents,” James called, “oh, and Sirius… will you be my best man?”

Sirius almost stopped in his tracks, “this isn’t really the time James,” he quickened his pace as the train gained speed, the platform was coming to an end, he raised his voice, “but of bloody course I will you mad git!” James’ grinning face receded as the train pulled away from him, he saw a hand wave out of the window and he waved back, half laughing he turned back towards the station.

His face fell immediately, this station barely looked like it was used every 50 years let alone was provided with regularly scheduled trains to the capital. He limped over to the covered area and sat down on the lone bench, he rubbed his knee and practiced stretching and bending it, it twinged painfully and he groaned. He walked over to the entrance and went to open the door but, naturally, it was locked. Cupping his hands against the glass he peered inside, the building was comprised of two rooms, one had a cracked black and white linoleum floor with a row of chairs lined up against two walls, and the other was the ticket office, the window which connected these two rooms had a screen pulled down with CLOSED stamped onto it. Sirius started to panic and made his way as quickly as possible to the other side of the building where another locked door greeted him, from this door he could see the ticket office more clearly and could see a dim light filtering through the blind. “Is there anyone in there? Excuse me?” He banged loudly on the wooden frame of the door. Nothing stirred inside for a few moments until the screen twitched and a face peered out, Sirius waved and the screen dropped back down. “Fuuucckkkk” Sirius hissed, he wiped his hair out of his face and turned out towards the road, peering up and down it he could see nothing but grey walls of rain. He leant his back against the door which abruptly gave way. Sirius found himself sprawled at the feet of a moustachioed little man who peered at him over thick lensed glasses.

“Can I help you young man?”

Sirius recovered himself, scrambling back to a standing position, “Uh yeah, when’s the next train to London?” he asked.

The little man’s face flickered with confusion and looked Sirius up and down, “That was the last train of the day,” he said, ushering Sirius out of the door and locking it behind him.

“Wait, so there's no trains coming through here tonight?”

The man made a motion half-way between a shrug and a head shake, “Next train is the…,” the man paused, “the 10.13 to Leeds, Monday morning."

“And the next one to London?” Sirius prompted.

“The 14.11, now if you don't mind…,” the man started towards a suitably little black car, parked nearby.

“Wait!” Sirius called after him, “Is there anywhere I can stay? I don't know anyone here!”

The man paused, playing with his keys, he pulled the collar of his jacket in against the rain. “There's a pub with a phonebox, about a mile up the road,” he gestured, “they're open late tonight, someone might be able to help you there.”


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

**No Trains On Sundays**

**December 1986**

* * *

All manner of colourful language was muttered by Sirius on that 20 minute trudge, it was barely past 7pm but already as dark as midnight; the rain was unrelenting and ice-cold, and despite his leather jacket, by the time the shape of the roadside pub loomed out of the fog he was soaked to his skin. His knee ached and he was relieved to see the flickering glow of a fireplace through the low window beside a large oak door, crested with holly. Beside the pub was a phone-box, Sirius limped up to it, to his dismay there was a sign taped from the inside of the glass, OUT OF SERVICE, Sirius cursed and turned back towards the pub, this really wasn't his day. He pushed open the wooden door and stooping, stepped into the pub; the building was old, black tarred beams stretched across the ceiling, a fire flickered in a large fireplace that was surrounded with sunken and worn leather armchairs, coats draped across their backs and armrests. Small desk lamps dimly illuminated the tables that were dotted here and there; and a wood panelled bar dominated the other side of the room. In the furthest corner, a Christmas tree twinkled lazily.

Sirius relished the heat that radiated from the opposite side of the room, a far cry from the howling wind and rain he had stepped out of, he wiped his wet hair off his face and shook himself to dislodge the water from his shoulders onto the Welcome mat. Suddenly, a muffled cheering sound emanated from a doorway to the right of the fireplace, as his eyes adjusted to the dimly lit surroundings he scanned the darker corners of the room and realised he was alone. He stepped gingerly towards the fireplace, as he navigated the assortment of chairs and coffee tables he heard a door swing open. A tall figure walked briskly out from the room the cheering had come from, and behind the bar, a tray crammed with glasses clinked in his hands as he slid it onto the bar. He began to hum quietly to himself and seemed to not notice Sirius standing statuesque behind the tallest armchair. Sirius shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other and the man looked up in surprise, “Oh, hello?”

Sirius cleared his throat and gingerly walked towards the bar, “Hi” he said, trying desperately not to look like a bedraggled street urchin, “Sorry, I just walked in.”

“Oh, no problem, what can I get for you?” Now at the bar Sirius could make out the man more clearly, he was young, around Sirius’ age, tall and lean with a crop of hair, the colour of which Sirius could not decipher, though it glowed like molten metal in the firelight. His face was half hidden in profile by the shadows cast from the fireplace but from what Sirius could see he had high, fine cheekbones, delicately curved lips and eyes like pools of liquid gold. The man's eyebrow curved upwards slightly and Sirius realised with a flutter that he had been staring wordlessly at him across the polished bar.

“Oh um…I need something to warm me up I think,” he laughed nervously, the man’s lip curved into a half smile, “how much is the whisky?” Sirius pointed to a brown bottle to the right of the man's head.

“A quid with a mixer, fifty without,” the man answered, gently unloading the tray into a pot-wash under the bar.

Sirius felt the pocket of his jeans for his wallet but its familiar rectangular bulk was not there, semi-frantically he began to pat every pocket of his jeans and jacket before he remembered with a jolt that he had given the wallet to James to buy the coffees. He looked up sheepishly, feeling the barman’s eyes on him as he finished loading the dishwasher and slid the tray under the bar, Sirius pinched the bridge of his nose and feigned a more dramatic realisation of his current financial position, he patted the breast-pocket of his jacket and heard a slight clinking sound, he retrieved a few forgotten coins and counted them in his hands, he sighed, “What can I get for twenty-six pence?”

He smiled at the barman who chuckled and replied “Any mixer? We have these,” he pointed to some taps below the beer handles, “or we have apple or orange juice.”

Sirius surveyed his options, “A coke then please.”

The barman nodded, a faint smile played on his lips as he selected a glass and began filling it, “Do you want to dry your jacket by the fire?” The barman asked nodding at, to Sirius’ embarrassment the puddle of water that had formed on the bar under Sirius’s crossed arms. Sirius smiled sheepishly and removed his jacket, he once more negotiated his way towards the fireplace and found somewhere to hang his jacket, concerned slightly that the sudden heat would crack the leather he moved it slightly further away. Sirius returned to the bar, the puddle had been wiped away and, in its place, a tall glass of Coke, he took a seat on a bar stool and took a large gulp, a surprisingly hot sensation hit the back of his throat and he spluttered slightly, he took another quick sip and tasted the familiar taste of whisky.

The barman turned his head towards him from where he was stacking glasses onto the mirrored shelves at the back of the bar and smiled, “Thanks” Sirius laughed raising his glass to him.

“No problem,” said the barman, “bit warmer now?”

“Much warmer, yeah,” Sirius chuckled. A silence fell over the two men, it was brief but to Sirius it felt like a lifetime, sat in this quiet room the only sounds to be heard were the cracking of wood in the fire and the tapping of rain against the windows. The quiet was broken abruptly when the nearby door once again swung open and a portly man swaggered through carrying three empty pint glasses in each hand.

“Another six my boy,” the man cheered placing the glasses on the bar.

“I’ll bring them in for you Jerry, any news from the others?” the barman asked as he busied himself with filling glasses with an amber cider from one of the taps, he placed one after the other onto a tray.

“No it's alright lad, I'll take them, they should be here soon, just getting some practice shots in whilst we wait, lets have some of those crisps as well, give us three.” The man smiled at Sirius and wrapped his knuckles against the bar gently.

The door opened, and a woman’s face appeared from around it, “Do you want to get us some crisps, Jer?” The barman turned and took three bags of crisps from a basket and placed them on the tray, “Oh thanks, love” the woman smiled warmly at him and retreated behind the door. The barman finished pulling the last pint and placed it on the tray, the portly man picked it up awkwardly and made to go back through the door, the barman nimbly overtook him and held the door open as he passed. The light that had spilled out of the adjoining room faded as the door swung closed, the barman returned smiling slightly and placed the dirty glasses in the washer.

Sirius shifted in his seat and then nodded towards the door, “You got a party here or something?” The barman followed his gaze to the closed door, Sirius could now hear the muffled sounds of laughter and the clink of glasses.

“Uh, not as such,” replied the barman, “it’s a skittle alley, that room. Second Saturday of every month we have a kind of tournament with the team over in Ribblehead.” The barman chuckled, he took a cloth and wiped the condensation from the tap pipes, “It’s been going on for years, we were meant to be having another team tonight but I don’t think they’ll make it with this weather.” Sirius turned to the window, rain was beating against the glass, wind whistled through the age-warped frames; the thought of having to return outside until the following morning sent a shiver down him and he took another sip of his drink.

“How long are you open until?” Sirius asked, nonchalantly. The barman glanced at a clock Sirius could hear but not see behind a row of wine glasses, “Officially midnight but these guys like to stay a while, no one wants to drive in this rain,” he paused rubbing his eye and stifling a yawn, “to be honest this is our biggest night of month, the owner would keep us open until the wee hours if they kept drinking,” he nodded towards the door with a tired smile.

“You been working here long?” Sirius asked, he felt a compulsion to continue the conversation, to hear this man's voice, the way he smiled in such a quiet self-preserved way, his movements so deft and graceful as he went about his work; Sirius noticed that as he got to the farthest end of the bar he had to bend slightly to avoid the wine glasses that hung down from a beam.

“Two years,” the man answered, breaking Sirius’ thoughts, “My aunt owns it,” he waved his hand around to indicate the pub.

“Nice,” Sirius nodded, “is it old?”

“Georgian,” the young man replied, “I found an old deed in the loft a while back that said it was completed in 1743, although the alley is newer, 1820s I think.” He gazed around the room in quiet reverence, Sirius watched him.

“It’s nice,” Sirius said, a little lost for words. “Bit in the middle of nowhere, though, or did I miss a village during my trek?”

The barman smiled, “You come from the station?" Sirius nodded. "It was mainly for travellers, that used to be the main road up to York, people would stay here to break up their journey. Then the leadworks over that way,” he gestured, “opened up and so the miners used to come here, that’s when the alley was built. That’s why the station is here too.”

Sirius nodded, “Sure do know your stuff,” he teased.

The barman smiled and shrugged, “I like history, and as you said, there’s not much to do in the middle of nowhere.”

Sirius grinned back, “Sirius,” he extended his hand over the bar, the barman shook it warmly.

“Like the star?” the barman asked raising an eyebrow.

“Family tradition,” Sirius replied into his glass, he always disliked when someone questioned his name rather than just take it at face value, it was an unavoidable necessity that always led to him having to talk about his family, something he tried to avoid doing at all times.

“You have a brother called Orion or something?” The barman smiled, leaning over the bar towards Sirius, this motion jerked Sirius out of his mood, he suddenly felt like he could talk about his family all night, as long as the barman kept looking at him like _that._

“My brother's Regulus, Orion is my father,” Sirius took another long drink, he watched his companion’s reaction, the other man's mouth quirked in a half smile and he nodded slightly.

“Interesting,” he finally replied, moving down the bar; he poured himself a glass of lemonade.

“What about you, what do they call you?” Sirius asked, keen to divert the topic away from the Black family.

The man took a sip and smiled, “Remus,” he said, raising his drink in a mock salute.

“Oh, now you can't take the piss out of me with a name like that!” Sirius laughed.

“Um excuse me?” Remus exclaimed in mock outrage, “One, I didn’t take the piss and two, I was named after one of the founders of Rome, you were named after a ball of gas!”

“The _brightest_ star in the sky!” Sirius retorted and the two laughed loudly. Remus slid back towards Sirius and raised his glass, Sirius did the same.

“To weird names,” Remus toasted.

“To weird names,” Sirius repeated and they clinked glasses, Sirius finished his drink, all too aware of the way Remus was still watching him closely.

“So, what brings you to this sunny corner or the world?” Remus asked as he refilled Sirius’ glass.

Sirius shifted in his seat and blushed slightly, he ruffled his hair idly to avoid answering the question but upon seeing the enquiring face of the man standing in front of him he sighed and smiled, “You ever heard of Platform Hopping?”


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

**No Trains on Sundays**

**December 1986**

* * *

“Ah,” Remus breathed, leaning his hip against the bar. “You’re going to struggle to get anywhere tonight, and the trains don't come through here on Sundays.”

Sirius grimaced, “Any buses?”

Remus’ mouth twisted in thought for a moment and then replied, “There’s a tree down across the main road, don’t know if it's been cleared but from what I’ve heard they weren’t able to shift it this afternoon, no buses on Sundays anyway.”

Sirius nodded slowly, taking a sip of his drink he continued, pointing to the ceiling, “Do you have rooms here?” He hoped the desperation in his voice was less obvious than it sounded.

Remus looked up from the taps he was wiping down, “Afraid not, my aunt says innkeeping is more cost than it’s worth, upstairs is all my aunt’s flat now, I don’t even have a key.”

“Is she home?” Sirius asked, he glanced over to a particularly worn sofa beside the fire, if only he could curl up on that for the night.

“Nope, she’s in Portugal on her fourth...no ...fifth honeymoon,” Remus replied with a grin.

“No room in the inn then," Sirius quipped, gesturing at the Christmas tree, Remus chuckled. There was a pause, "So where do you…,” Sirius was interrupted, both men looked towards the door as headlights briefly illuminated the room. There was a squeak of brakes and an engine cut out. Voices approached and to Sirius’ amazement the ticket attendant stepped through the doorway, followed my four, much larger men.

“Hi Frank, glad you made it in one piece!” Remus called, already beginning to fill glasses with cider from one of the taps.

“Evening Remus,” 'Frank' replied, he nodded at Sirius, “found your way then?”

Sirius nodded, “Yeah, thanks for the lift,” he joked.

“I think you've done alright,” Frank replied quietly, his eyes flicking between Sirius and Remus, who was distributing the pints to the other men. “Besides,” he said, louder, “No room in the car.”

“I'm amazed you all fitted in the Allegro, is it only you chaps tonight then?” Remus replied, returning to his spot opposite Sirius.

Frank nodded, taking a long drink, “Barry and Amanda’s daughter just had twins so they're all down in Salisbury, Tom’s done in his hip again.” Remus nodded and raised his eyebrows at Sirius who smiled into his drink.

“Well they’re all in there, gents,” Remus indicated to the alley door.

“Perfect, cheers lad,” replied Frank, “we’ll leave you to it,” he furthered, looking at Sirius who raised his glass awkwardly at him. The men filed through the door, the sounds of welcoming banter dulled as the door swung to. Sirius continued to gaze at the direction they had gone, confused somewhat by the words of the little man. Remus watched him thoughtfully, he finally broke the silence.

"How were you hoping to pay for these travels anyway, you're on coppers as it is," Remus asked.

"Ah, I have my ways," Sirius winked and then frowned, the reality of his situation finally sinking in. "Shit, you don't have a phone do you?"

"Sure, it's in the back office," Remus replied, inclining his head towards a door behind the bar, "need to make a call?"

"Yeah, I should let someone know I'm not dead in a ditch," Sirius replied ruefully.

Remus stepped out from behind the bar and beckoned Sirius to follow, the taller man ducked through the doorway and gestured at a red telephone on the cluttered desk, "Hopefully the storm hasn't downed any lines."

"Thank you, I won't be long," Sirius said, drawing the phone to him.

"Take your time," Remus replied, leaving him alone.

Sirius dialed the number and held the phone to his ear, it rang a few times before a worried voice answered.

"Hello? Hello?" Euphemia answered.

"Hi Mum," Sirius replied, sheepishly.

"Oh my... Monty! James! He's on the phone... wait... let me just...," A clattering sound followed, a mixture of familiar voices echoed from the phone, Sirius smiled.

"Alright mate? Where are you?" James' voice appeared, before Sirius could answer there was a struggling sound and James' irritated whine.

"Sirius, where the hell are you?" Fleamont demanded, his tone caught Sirius off guard; Fleamont Potter was usually such a quiet, well mannered man. 

"Uh... well... I'm at a pub."

"A pub?" Euphemia inquired in the background, "which pub?"

"Shh dear, Sirius what pub?" Fleamont asked.

"The one by the station I got off at," Sirius replied, rubbing his eyes.

"Yes, we heard all about _that_ ," Fleamont chastised , Sirius could almost hear James' eye roll. "Trouble is the idiot boy couldn't remember the actual name of the station, we tried to look it up but, we assumed you had gotten another train, what's going on?"

"There aren't any more trains until Monday..." Sirius continued, despite Euphemia's squawks in the background, "I found a pub, well, was recommended one and so..."

"But James has your wallet, and your bags they're all here," Euphemia's voice was louder, she had taken the phone.

"I had a bit of cash on me," Sirius interjected. 

"Where are you going to stay until Monday? Surely there's someone you could hitch with to a bigger town," Fleamont had reclaimed the phone.

"I don't want him hitchhiking, not this time of year," Euphemia fussed. Sirius heard James' confused whisper, followed by muffled bickering.

"I'll work something out, dad," Sirius sighed, exasperated. 

"Well, let us know, if worse comes to worse I can drive up and get you," Fleamont replied, tiredly.

Sirius smiled into the phone, Fleamont's old banger wouldn't be able to make it halfway up the country if it sprouted wings and flew, Euphemia's concerned whispers reaffirmed this, "I'll let you know asap."

"Do, son, stay safe and don't forget to call." Fleamont said.

"We'll send James up with your wallet on the first train, love," Euphemia chimed in. 

"Okay, I have to go, speak to you soon," Sirius hurried, he saw Remus approaching out of the corner of his eye, "yep, will do... yep, love you too, bye." Sirius hung up the phone and smiled sheepishly at Remus, "Thanks."

"No problem, your parents?" Remus asked.

Sirius paused, then smiled, "Yeah."

The two men returned to the bar, Remus took a sip from his glass and watched Sirius, "They picking you up then?" he asked.

"No, I don't think so, Monty shouldn't drive at night, especially in this weather, it's too far anyway," Sirius sighed. 

"Well I'm afraid you can't stay here," Remus said. Sirius tried and immediately failed not to be hurt by the rebuke and nodded glumly, train platform bench it would have to be, then. 

“I have a place, just down the road,” Remus continued, Sirius gawked at him in surprise, “It’s not much, but it's dry and there’s a sofa…” Remus trailed off, unsure of what to make of the look on Sirius’ face.

“I... that would be... I mean I don’t want to intrude or anything but… I’m a bit buggered here,” Sirius grinned.

Remus smiled back and chuckled, “Not that I’m in the habit of inviting bedraggled punks back to my house.”

“You think I’m punk?” Sirius asked, laughing.

“I think you think you’re punk,” Remus replied coolly, raising an eyebrow. 


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

**No Trains On Sundays**  


**December 1986**

* * *

"Is there anything else I can do?" Sirius asked, tipping the pan of pine needles into the bin.

"Umm...," Remus scanned the room, "No, I don't think so, I think you've earned your keep," he smiled.

"Cool," Sirius slid back onto the barstool and took another drink, his head was warm and fuzzy.

"You alright?" Remus asked, he was watching him from across the bar.

Sirius gazed a little unsteadily at him, "Yeah, but I think I should probably hold back on these now," he chuckled, raising his glass.

Remus smiled, he filled a pint glass with water and passed it to Sirius wordlessly, he filled another glass for himself. For a while all was quiet, both unwilling to break the comfortable silence that had fallen between them.

There was a flurry of commotion and the skittle alley door opened, two middle aged women emerged holding trays of glasses, Sirius recognised the taller of the pair as the woman who had requested the crisps earlier, both wore floral dresses and cardigans. The taller woman greeted Remus, “I think we’re calling it a night, love. Didn’t realise it had gotten so late.”

“No problem, Molly. Who won tonight?”

“We did!” Exclaimed the shorter woman, Sirius noticed she was a little unsteady on her feet and jumped to help her with the teetering tray, she smiled at him vaguely and tottered off to one of the armchairs by the fire.

Molly raised her eyebrows at the two men and sighed slightly, she watched as the alley door opened and the rest of her group emerged, some more worse for wear than others. The group of twelve or so, was chatting and jesting with one another and in generally high spirits; the clearly designated drivers amongst them buzzed around, assigning coats and scarves to their owners, Sirius saw the shorter woman try and put on his jacket and he leapt up to intervene. Molly gave him an exasperated, apologetic look and ushered the other woman towards the front door, a portion of the group broke off and followed her, waving goodbyes to their tired host. 

“You find somewhere to stay tonight?” Frank asked as he shrugged on a grey anorak by the fire.

“Uh, yeah Remus has very kindly offered his sofa to me,” Sirius replied, smiling shyly.

“He’s a good lad, that one,” Frank replied, observing Remus over Sirius’ shoulder, “deserves more than he’s been allotted..." he paused, "he should spend more time with people his age, someone like you." His eyebrow quirked and he gave Sirius a tight-lipped smile as he began to move towards the door.

“Wait,” Sirius grasped at Frank’s arm, the man turned, “How did you know?” he asked quietly, cocking his head in Remus’ direction.

“We may all look like country bumpkins to you, young man,” Frank replied, gently coaxing Sirius’ hand off his shoulder, “but we’re not as narrow minded as you might expect.” Sirius’ eyebrows raised in surprise. “Besides, that helped,” Frank pointed at the jacket in Sirius’ hand and winked, “Goodnight you two.” 

“Night Frank, drive safe,” Remus replied, waving a tea-towel as the rest of the group departed, Sirius turned the leather jacket over in his hands and inspected it, perplexed. With a start he realised what Frank was talking about, an impromptu Christmas gift from Lily, a pink badge she had affixed to his collar with a kiss and a wink, in white letters it read, HOW DARE YOU PRESUME I’M HETEROSEXUAL. Sirius blushed and quickly removed the badge, slipping it into his pocket, he returned his jacket to the fire grate and approached the bar Remus was wiping down.

Remus glanced up at the clock, stifling a yawn behind his elegant hand. “You look like you’re ready for bed,” Sirius smiled, his stomach fluttered slightly as Remus' eyebrow raised suggestively. The other man quickly turned, although Sirius thought he saw the trace of a smile on Remus’s lips as he busied himself with organising the glasses. 

“You could go in and check there’s no strays in the alley,” Remus replied, not looking at him, “glass or otherwise.” Sirius approached the alley door and went inside, the room was cramped and narrow with an array of chairs and tables at one end and a set of wooden skittles arranged in a triangle at the other. He scanned the room, found two pint glasses behind the backboard and returned to the main room, turning the light off as he left. Remus had regained his composure and nodded as Sirius held up the two glasses, “They’re usually pretty good about tidying up, especially when it’s just me closing,” Remus took the two glasses and popped them into the pot-wash. Straightening, he wiped his hands on a tea-towel and surveyed the rest of the room.

“Anything else?” Sirius asked also looking around the pub.

“I think that’ll do for the night,” replied Remus softly, he stepped out from behind the bar, taking one of the half empty glasses of water he approached the fire and extinguished it, “Could you get the lights?” Sirius walked around the room, switching off each of the table lamps until just one remained lit by the door. Peering into the darkened room he saw a shape move nimbly around the furniture until Remus stood in front of him. “Forgetting something?” Remus asked, holding out something warm and dark, Sirius chuckled and gratefully shrugged on his jacket. Remus removed a raincoat from a hook by the door, “we usually have some spare,” he lamented kicking at an empty umbrella stand, “but it’s not too far.” 

The two men slipped unwillingly out of the dry warmth of the pub and huddled in the porch as Remus locked the door with a large brass key. “Ready to run?” Remus smiled, pulling his hood over his head and buttoning it at his throat, Sirius nodded unconvincingly, “Let’s go.” Remus bolted out of the porch and into the gail, Sirius, at first taken aback by his agility, followed after him as fast as his injured knee would allow. After a few hundred feet Remus reached a low stone wall and opened the gate for Sirius, the two rushed towards a white front door encircled by an arch of ivy. 

“God you’re fast,” Sirius breathed, the downpour had completely sobered him up, Remus smiled as he rummaged in his pocket for his keys; he turned the key in the lock, pushing the age-warped door open with his shoulder. He switched on a lamp by the front door and slipped out of his shoes, placing them lightly on the mat, Sirius copied him, dropping his well worn DMs next to Remus’s loafers. He removed his jacket and hung it up next to his companions coat; the cottage was modest but cozy, with low ceilings and exposed white-washed brickwork, bookshelves lined the wall to his right and to his left there was a doorway into a darkened kitchen. In the centre of the room was a red sofa with two armchairs on either side, all facing a small fireplace. 

“Tea?” Remus inquired. As he passed behind Sirius towards the kitchen his hand brushed against his back where a rain sodden t-shirt clung to Sirius' skin, “Oh, you’re soaked?” Remus breathed, “you must be freezing!” Sirius chuckled in agreement, trying to disguise how the skin where Remus’s hand had been glowed as hot as fire. “You can’t sleep like that, I’ll get you something dry to wear,” Remus disappeared up a darkened staircase. 

“Oh really it’s no problem, it’ll dry!” Sirius called after him.

“Nonsense,” Remus replied returning into the living room clutching a pair of tracksuit bottoms and a thick dark orange jumper, “Not sure they’re your size… or your style,” Remus blushed, “but at least I won’t come down tomorrow to find a corpse on my sofa, not again,” Remus winked as Sirius laughed and took the clothes from the other man gratefully. They stared at each other for a moment before Remus remembered himself, “So...tea?” Remus asked turning into the small tiled kitchen. 

“Oh, only if you’re having one.” Sirius answered, sheepishly pulling his shirt over his head and draping it over the fireplace grate. 

“Sorry?” Remus replied, sticking his head out of the doorway, he seemed startled to see Sirius topless but his eyes still settled over his bare chest. 

“Only if you’re having tea” Sirius repeated. 

“Oh, I was going to have a hot chocolate I think,” said Remus, still half in the kitchen. 

“That sounds amazing,” Sirius nodded, shivering slightly despite himself and the warm room. 

“Okay, oh and the bathroom's just there,” Remus pointed to a door on the far side of the living room as he retreated back into the kitchen. 

Sirius nodded and carried his new clothes to the bathroom, he  removed his jeans and, after realising his boxers were also rain sodden removed them too, he pulled on the grey tracksuit bottoms. They were too long for him and he pondered for a while whether to cuff them, eventually deciding against it. He surveyed himself in the bathroom mirror, combing his fingers through his drying hair and admired himself. What he lacked in height he more than made up with in physique, he had taken up rowing at university, much to James' surprise and it had broadened his chest and toned his arms, he had come to enjoy teasing James by getting Lily to feel his biceps as he flexed, much to both of their amusement. Sirius smiled at the memory and pulled the jumper on. H e bundled his wet clothes under his arm and stepped out of the bathroom. Remus was still in the kitchen, Sirius could here the kettle coming to boil and the soft humming of a tune he half recognised. 

After mooching around awkwardly in the living room, he settled into one of the two armchairs close to the fire. Deftly he draped his boxers over the grate next to his t-shirt then swiftly covered them with his jeans. To his left there was a side table, cluttered with books and papers with a reading lamp positioned above it, he reached for one of the books and turned it to read the spine: FRANKENSTEIN. Sirius smiled and lay it on his knee, settling into the deep cushions; he closed his eyes and ran his fingers over the book’s cover, his eyes opened when he felt a page sticking out at an odd angle. Opening the book he realised it was not a page at all, but a leaflet, on the front of the leaflet in red letters it read, COMING TO TERMS WITH YOUR DIAGNOSIS, Sirius snapped the book shut and returned it to the table just as Remus rounded the corner holding two mugs of steaming hot chocolate.


	5. Chapter 5

* * *

**No Trains On Sundays**

**December 1986**

* * *

“That’s amazing, thanks so much,” Sirius gulped at the scalding liquid cupping his hands around the mug, Remus smiled as he knelt by the fire and lit it, stoking it for a minute before curling himself into the opposite armchair, blowing gently on his own drink. They sat in comfortable silence for a while, once again the only sounds to be heard were the rain hammering at the windows and the crackling of the growing fire.

“Do you want to put some music on?” Remus asked, he gestured to a record player set against one of the bookshelves, “not sure if you’ll like any of my stuff but…,” he trailed off sheepishly. Sirius nodded and approached the record player, it was then that he noticed two of the shelves of the closest bookcase was devoted to meticulously kept records. He brushed his fingers across the collection and pulled one out and burst out laughing. “Hey!” Remus called defiantly, “you’re not allowed to actually laugh!”

“No, no it’s not that,” Sirius recovered himself and held up the record, “Tchaikovsky?”

“Yes?” Remus replied, blushing.

“Oh mate, so a few days ago my friends and I entered a Christmas trivia contest at our local; we got to the last round and I was chosen to answer the sudden death question,” Sirius made a mock bow. “So they play this record and we have to decide whether it was Tchaikovsky, Vivaldi or some other bloke I can’t remember.”

“Let me guess, you didn’t win,” Remus laughed, leaning his head in his hand.

“I’m an engineering student!” Sirius whinged, “how was I supposed to know?”

“I bet your friends weren’t happy with you,” Remus smiled.

“Ah they started talking to me after I bought them a third round,” Sirius grinned, spinning the record in his fingers.

“Well we don’t have to listen to that, don’t want you having flashbacks,” Remus snorted.

Sirius returned the record to the shelves and began to browse, Remus remained in his chair, stealing glimpses of his guest when his back was turned.

“Ahh, now this one is what I’m talking about,” Sirius held up a colourful record.

“You like Talking Heads?” Remus inquired.

“Lily and I went on a road trip this summer to see this stone circle thing near Aberdeen, we had the tape on repeat,” Sirius smiled, “when you’re in the middle of the Cairngorms ‘Road to Nowhere’ seems very apt.”

Remus frowned slightly, “Lily?”

“James’ girlfriend,” Sirius replied quickly. “He was going to go with her but the git ended up going out on a bender with some art kids he’s just met, and came home pissed at 7 in the morning,” Sirius chuckled. “ Lil has this amazing little red Pergeot convertible though so it was a pretty great trip.”

“Sounds fun,” Remus replied ruefully, "this is the James from the train, and..." he gestured at Sirius' knee, Sirius nodded grinning. “What does Lily study?”

“Uh...Anthropology and French,” Sirius said distractedly, sliding the record out of it’s sleeve and placing it on the platter, he pressed the play button.

“Oh, it’s a little temperamental,” Remus said, suddenly standing just behind him.

Sirius could feel the warmth of his body, and the sweet scent of his breath made the hairs on his neck stand up. Remus reached past him and adjusted the counterweight, settling the needle on the edge of the record; after a few moments a drum beat began to emanate from the speaker.

“Hmm… I love this one,” Remus breathed. Sirius couldn’t move, he felt frozen to the spot, staring at the rotating disk. After an age he realised Remus’ presence had shifted away from him and he was able to turn. Gingerly Sirius returned to his spot by the fire and nestled back into the cushions of the armchair. They sat for a while listening to the music, Remus nodded his head to the beat sleepily, a shy smile playing on his lips.

“Frank seems… interesting,” Sirius said.

Remus nodded, “He’s a nice guy, he lives just over the way with his wife,” Remus gestured vaguely, “his daughter used to babysit me,” he chuckled. “Now she lives in Brighton with her...partner,” Remus narrowed his eyes and continued, watching Sirius closely, “her girlfriend.”

Sirius nodded slowly and took a sip of his hot chocolate, “I’ve never been.”

“To Brighton? I’ve been once, with my parents,” Remus replied lazily.

Sirius arched his eyebrow, he had half assumed Remus’ parents weren't in the picture, this was the first time he had heard them mentioned.

Remus seemed to read his mind, “My parents moved around a lot, I would stay with my aunt when they were away.” Sirius nodded. “My dad is an ornithology professor, he travels for lectures and research trips” Remus smiled, “my mum is a writer, novels mostly,” he pointed towards the bookshelves, “although her best seller was a memoir from their time in South-East Asia.”

“That’s really cool!” Sirius replied, turning in his chair, “what’s it called?”

“Her memoir?” Remus smiled into his mug, “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.”

“Aha, cool name,” Sirius laughed.

“One of my many varied contributions to literature,” Remus replied, waving his hand regally.

“That was you?” Sirius asked, returning his gaze to his host.

Remus nodded, smiling, he closed his eyes and settled into his armchair sleepily, “What do your parents do?”

Sirius froze for a moment, “They’re both retired,” he said cooly.

Remus blinked, “This is Orion?”

“Uh… well, technically _my_ parents aren’t retired but… the people I stay with... the ones I was talking to,” Sirius paused awkwardly, “technically they’re James’ parents.”

“Oh, okay...” Remus replied, puzzled.

“I… don’t really speak to my parents, my birth parents,” Sirius said quietly, Remus' eyebrow curved inquisitively, Sirius continued. “They… I come from an old family, you know like, aristocratic? They never really accepted my umm… lifestyle, and even before that I was working a full time job as the family disappointment. They sent me to a hoity toity school where the only friends I made were all bursary wielding normies,” Sirius laughed bitterly. “After a while James started inviting me to stay for holidays, Christmas, that kind of thing. His parents had him late so he’s an only child, Fleamont and Euphemia, they’re great and so over the years I saw less and less of my parents.”

“You said you had a brother?” Remus asked.

Sirius gulped, “Uh yeah, Regulus… he’s um… he’s a year younger than me.”

“What is he doing?” Remus asked.

“He’s at University too, Cambridge of course,” Sirius rolled his eyes.

The small smile that had rested on Remus’ lips fell and he inhaled sharply, swiftly he covered his mouth with his hand and rubbed his jaw. “What’s he… what’s he studying?” Remus faltered.

“Financial Law,” Sirius made a face, my parents really did a number on him, he sighed. “Learning how to become some smarmy lawyer who covers the arses of the yuppies of tomorrow.”

Remus had remained quietly contemplative, “Which college is he at?”

“Uh, I have absolutely no idea,” Sirius replied, “I think it began with a D?”

“Downing?” Remus asked.

“Sounds about right,” Sirius replied nonchalantly, “how did you know that?”

Remus flushed and shifted in his chair, “I uh, I was at Cambridge for a while.”

“You were at Cambridge? Sirius smiled, “I didn’t mean to offend,” he joked, he swallowed his laughter watching a frown form on Remus’ face.

“I dropped out,” Remus swallowed, “couldn’t cut it.”

“Oh,” Sirius replied quietly. The two sat in silence for a long time, Remus seemed to almost be falling asleep, or at least resting his eyes. Sirius observed him out of the corner of his eye, watching the other man’s chest slowly rise and fall.

“Oh shit,” Sirius mumbled to himself. Remus looked up at him inquiringly. “I was meant to call my… I was meant to call James’ parents to tell them where I’m staying.”

“You can use mine, it’s in the kitchen,” Remus said.

“You’re honestly a life-saver,” Sirius replied, standing up and hurrying into the kitchen, he felt around for a phone and found one attached to the wall, he brushed his hand out further to find the lightswitch only for his hand to find another in the half darkness.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Remus replied as the kitchen light flickered on.

“No… no problem,” Sirius stuttered. Remus blushed and abruptly left the kitchen, Sirius watched the doorway for a moment before dialing the Potter’s number.

The phone rang once before a sleepy voice answered, “Hello?”

“James?”

“Yeah, what time do you call this young man?” James chuckled and then yawned loudly to hammer home the point.

“Sorry mate, I completely lost track of time.”

"It’s alright, I sent them to bed, where are you? You found some doorway to sleep in?”

“A doorway with a phone?” Sirius jested.

James yawned again, “Stranger things have happened,” he replied lazily.

“I’m alright, I’m staying with the pub owner, well not the owner but the barman’s, he’s got a sofa.”

“Okay… and that’s all good?” James replied slowly “I’m imagining some grizzled old codger with a shotgun and a hip-flask, am I close?”

“Not even a little bit,” Sirius laughed, glancing at the doorway he turned and quieted his voice, “he’s actually really cool, our age.”

“Ahh, that’s how they get you,” James replied mysteriously.

“Come off it,” Sirius chuckled.

“You going to stay until Monday or you going to make a break for it as soon as dawn breaks?” James asked.

“I don’t know yet, we’ll see how it goes.”

“Alright mate, I’m knackered so do you want to call tomorrow to let me know you haven’t been murdered in your sleep and we’ll work out a gameplan from there?”

“Sure,” Sirius smiled.

“Cool, speak to you soon, and don’t worry you can have one of my kidneys when you inevitably wake up in a bath full of ice tomorrow.”

“Thanks for your tremendous vote of confidence, twat.”

“No problem, fuckface, sleep tight!”

“You too,” Sirius laughed and hung up the phone.


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

**No Trains On Sundays**

**December 1986**

* * *

“Everything alright?” Remus inquired, he was tinkering with the record player.

“Yeah, all good,” Sirius slumped back into his chair, he checked himself, “I’m really grateful for this, it was such a stupid thing to do and I would have been so fucked if I hadn’t found you.”

“It’s no problem,” Remus smiled, half turning to look at him, “it’s nice to have someone to talk to who’s this side of 45.”

A new song began playing and Remus swayed slightly to the music, Sirius couldn’t help but watch him. “Oh, do you want to see the book?” Remus asked, striding over to a bookshelf and sliding out a large hardback book. 

“Oh yeah!” Sirius replied.

Remus brought the book to the sofa and sat down, Sirius moved to sit beside him. It was a large square book with a colourful illustration of a tropical bird printed on the cover, Remus stroked the picture unconsciously. 

“Your mum do these pictures as well?” Sirius asked.

“No, these are mine,” Remus replied opening the book, the pages were glossy with both watercolour and black and white illustrations of birds and other creatures printed on them, “Wait,” Sirius pulled the book closer, “you  _ drew _ these?!”

Remus nodded, suppressing a smile.

“These are incredible!” Sirius cried, he flipped the pages eagerly.

“Thanks,” Remus chuckled, “my mum used to send me film and I would do drawings of the photos when they got developed, she found them when my parents got home and she put them in the book, see?” He closed the book and pointed, _Illustrations by Remus Lupin_. Sirius grinned, making a mental note of Remus’ last name. 

“Do you still draw?” Sirius asked, inspecting a large sketch of a bird of prey.

“A bit, not as much as I used to,” Remus replied, a flicker of sadness passed over his face.

“Can I see your other stuff?” Sirius inquired earnestly, “If you don’t mind.”

Remus considered this for a moment, “Sure,” he finally replied, passing the book to Sirius and standing up. “I’ll just go get them.”

Sirius watched as Remus ascended the staircase, he reopened the book and flicked through it, at the back of the book there was an About The Author section with a family photo above it. Three faces beamed out of the picture, a slim dark blonde woman and a bespectacled bearded man stood on either side of a young Remus who stood proudly holding an enormous blue parrot on his outstretched arm, Sirius smiled and read the section:

_ Best selling author Hope Lupin was born in Bath, Somerset, into a family of writers. She soon continued this family tradition. After writing the critically acclaimed How to Tame Tigers and Men Who Love Dragons Too Much, she has now turned her hand to non-fiction with Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, a memoir detailing her time in the jungles of South-East Asia. Hope and her husband, ornithologist and adventurer, Lyall, have travelled all over the world for over two decades. Hope now splits her time between research trips with Lyall and Yorkshire, where they have been bringing up their son, Remus, who provided the illustrations for this book. _

“Here we go,” Remus breezed into the room, he held a collection of sketchbooks in his hands, he dropped them a little unceremoniously on the coffee table in front of the sofa. 

“Wow,” Sirius closed the book and set it aside, leaning forward to get a better look.

Remus sat down beside him and picked up one of the books, “They’re nothing special,” he shrugged, passing it to Sirius, “Do you want another?” 

“Thanks,” Sirius raised his mug for Remus to take and watched him disappear into the kitchen. Delicately he opened the sketchbook and pored over the pages, this one was mainly dedicated to watercolour landscapes, a few furtive doodles dotted the backs and margins of the crisp pages. “You should frame these!” he called.

“You sound like my mum,” Remus chuckled from the kitchen. The sound of the kettle beginning to boil made Sirius look up, Remus was leaning against the doorway self-consciously.

“May I?” Sirius gestured at the pile in front of him.

Remus nodded, nonchalantly and returned to the kitchen, flicking the tea-towel he held onto his shoulder. 

Sirius perused another collection, this one mainly comprising of pencil sketches of architectural structures, he reached for another, a folder of loose papers bound together with string.

“Oh those aren’t that great,” Remus replied passing Sirius a new mug of hot chocolate.

Sirius shot him a skeptical look and he sat down abruptly, biting his lip.

The folder was crammed with sketches of people, they varied in detail from a quick profile outline to a full portraits, Sirius recognised a sketch of Remus’ father asleep in a deckchair in front of a beach-hut, “Brighton?” he inquired, Remus nodded reservedly. Sirius felt he was intruding on something, but he couldn’t help but keep going. What followed were a collection of rough sketches drawn on paper that had been ripped out of a small lined notebook, they were a collection depicting school life, one showed a group of teenagers including Remus, all wore school uniforms and were standing in front of an old building; another was of a laughing boy holding a cricket bat above his head. Sirius continued to flip through the sheets, pictures of the same four or five boys filled the rest of the file. The art style was generally the same although there were a few attempts at impressionism including a large collage of magazine strips organised into the shape of a face. The last page was face down, he turned it over in his hands and felt Remus stir beside him.

“I forgot about that pne,” Remus murmured.

The portrait was drawn on thick paper,it was of a young man sitting on a garden wall, Sirius recognised the boy from some of the previous sketches. The boy had his arms crossed and fixed the observer with a bemused smirk, he was a little pudgy with a crop of messy blonde hair and wore a green t-shirt, blue jeans and trainers. Sirius was taken aback by the detail of the picture; the pencil sketch was realistic and precise, flowers grew against the wall the subject was sitting on and behind him a field of wheat led down to a meandering river spanned by a stone bridge. The watercolours which laid on top of the sketch were messier, colours of grey, pink and green faded into one another across the brickwork, the yellow tones of the boy’s hair had diffused into the blues of the sky crowning him like a halo, in the corner of the page was a scrawled note, _Petey '83._

The two men both gazed at the portrait quietly, “This is really good,” Sirius breathed. 

“Thanks,” Remus inhaled and gently removed the folder from Sirius’ hands, he tucked the loose sheafs inside and held it against his chest.

Sirius had touched a nerve, he knew, he sat awkwardly staring at the fire, unsure of what exactly to do next. He desperately wanted to keep talking with Remus, to sit together in this warm cocoon-like room, but at the back of his mind he feared overstaying his welcome. Yet the man had offered him another drink, did he want to spend more time with Sirius too or was he simply being a good host?  Remus was also staring at the fire, absentmindedly flicking at the corner of the folder with his forefinger. Sirius stretched out his legs, his injured knee twinged and he flinched, kicking the leg of the coffee table, in slow motion he saw his mug of hot chocolate teeter and fall onto the floor, flinging its contents across the remaining sketchbooks on the table and down onto the carpet.

“Oh shit!” Sirius fell to his knees, he grabbed the empty mug and stood it up uselessly, “I’m so sorry.”  _ Well done idiot, you’ve gone through his personal shit and now you’re throwing hot chocolate around his house,  _ Sirius chastised himself bitterly,  _ you’re going to end up sleeping on the porch if you keep this up! _

The commotion had drawn Remus out of his thoughts, “It’s okay,” he said quietly, reaching down, “really Sirius, it’s fine.”

“Oh god, it’s all over your drawings!” Sirius lamented, furtively dabbing at the papers with the sleeve of his jumper. Remus passed him the tea towel he had draped over his shoulder and Sirius quickly went about wiping the sketchbooks down before he began to dab at the carpet. 

“Sirius, Sirius!” Remus’ tone made Sirius look up sharply, “calm down, it’s not a big deal, it’ll dry,” he smiled reassuringly. “Leave the carpet at least, lets just spread these out and they’ll dry,” Remus indicated to the sketchbooks, setting aside the folder he had been clutching.

_ Thank god he was holding that one,  _ Sirius thought, the contents of the folder seemed to be the most important of Remus’ collection.

“Okay,” Sirius nodded, still kneeling on the damp carpet he began to spread the papers out across the table, Remus leaned forward and helped him.

Their fingers brushed against one another, Sirius took a chance and enclosed Remus’s hand in his own.  _ Shit,  _ he thought, _ if this doesn’t work I’m definitely in for an uncomfortable night on the porch _ . He lifted his grey eyes to Remus’ whose remained fixated on their intertwined fingers. “Remus?” Sirius murmured, Remus’ amber eyes flicked up to his, filled with an emotion Sirius couldn’t decipher.


	7. Chapter 7

**No Trains on Sundays**

**December 1986**

The two men stared at each other for a moment before Sirius’ stomach dropped as Remus’ hand slipped from his, Sirius made a move to stand up, to retreat from this situation when suddenly Remus’ hands were in his hair, his lips pressed against his. Sirius stifled a gasp, he grabbed at the sofa to steady himself from the unstable crouching position he found himself in. Letting his knees slide back to the floor he knelt up, wrapping his arms around Remus’ neck he returned the kiss. Remus’ lips were sweet and slightly chapped, Sirius felt himself smiling into the other man’s mouth, teasing his tongue against them. To his surprise they didn’t separate in response and even more devastatingly, he felt Remus start to pull away from him. 

Sirius opened his eyes and sat back on his heels.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that” Remus gasped, he held his hand to his mouth, his eyes darting around the room, hitting on everything but Sirius’ own bewildered gaze. 

Sirius smiled reassuringly, “It’s okay, come back to me,” Sirius rested his hand on Remus’ knee and rose back to meet the sitting man’s eye level. 

“No… I shouldn’t have kissed you,” Remus muttered, standing abruptly and brushing past Sirius. Confused, Sirius stood too. Remus was standing at the record player, his hand was rested over his eyes, he rubbed his temple. 

“I’m sorry,” Sirius said, “I must have misread something or…” 

“It’s not you,” Remus interrupted, turning to face him, “I can’t… I shouldn’t do…  _ that _ .” Sirius watched him motion between them and then into the air vaguely. 

Sirius shook his head in confusion, “You have a boyfriend or... a girlfriend or something?” Remus finally looked at him a mixture of fear, guilt and sadness all passed over his beautiful, firelit face. 

“No, nothing like that,” he finally replied. 

“Then what is it?” Sirius asked, fear gripping at his stomach as his mind conjured all the most terrible answers, almost all revolving around how utterly undeserving Sirius was of the man in front of him.

“I just… can’t. It’s not you… I’m… I just can’t.” Remus stuttered.

Sirius took another leap, this one definitely would have him sleeping on the porch, or worse. “Is...is it because you’re sick?” Sirius asked quietly.

All the air went out of the room in that second, all sound was silenced when he saw Remus’ reaction to that stupid, prying question, all Sirius could hear was the drumming of his rapidly beating heartbeat in his ears.

Words fell silently from Remus’ mouth, “Wh… what… how?” he stammered. “How did you know?” 

“I didn’t mean to look, it was in the book… I’m sorry I shouldn’t have asked.” Sirius replied, gesturing at the copy of Frankenstein that lay on the side table.

Remus straightened and in two long strides he stood with the book in his hand, letting it fall open to where the leaflet was nestled. Something resembling a smile formed on his lips and he chuckled, “I forgot that this was in here,” he murmured. Sinking into the armchair he retrieved the leaflet and opened it, his eyes glanced over it before he refolded it and set it on his lap, staring into the fire. Sirius stood awkwardly on the rug, unsure of what to do now, gingerly he returned to the hearth and sat on the armchair Remus had been sitting in.

“I really shouldn’t have asked, I’m so sorry,” Remus looked at him, his eyes were red although Sirius couldn’t tell if it was from the fire. He wanted nothing more than to be back where they had been moments before, their lips pressed together, Remus’s long fingers playing in his hair. 

“It’s okay,” Remus replied, silencing Sirius’ protestations with a look, “It’s for the best that you knew anyway.” Remus sighed and continued, “That’s the real reason I left University, I found out half-way through Second Year; they put me on meds of course but I kind of went into a tailspin. My grades plummeted, didn’t want to see anyone, barely left the house.” He shrugged and returned his gaze to the embers. 

Sirius was at a loss for words, he inhaled sharply, “But you’re better now? The medication worked?” Sirius asked, his stomach knotting. 

Remus’ brow furrowed and he looked back at Sirius, “What do you mean?” 

Sirius gestured at the other man, “Well you seem alright to me, you’re better now?”

“Did you not read this?” Remus asked, lifting the leaflet. 

Sirius shook his head, “Only the title,” he replied. 

Remus scoffed and smiled to himself, “Ah, I see.” He leant forward and passed Sirius the leaflet, before sinking back into the armchair, his hands clasped under his chin, eyes raised to the ceiling. 

Sirius stared at Remus for a few moments before looking down at the leaflet, he unfolded it and began to read. COMING TO TERMS WITH YOUR DIAGNOSIS read the letters on the front page, UNDERSTANDING YOUR HIV POSITIVE STATUS, read the inset page, it was all Sirius was able to read before the tears in his eyes blurred his vision completely. He looked up and blinked, two fat tears fell onto his lap. Remus, who had been watching him steadily saw Sirius’s reaction and froze. “You can’t catch it from a kiss,” he blurted out, as reassuring as he was able to be. 

Sirius nodded and wiped at his eyes furiously, “I know, I know,” Sirius choked. “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” Remus opened his mouth to speak but before he could do so, before Sirius really knew what he was doing himself, he had closed the space between them and flung himself into Remus’ arms, startled at first Remus embraced him. Sirius clung to him, climbing half onto his lap, half beside him in the arm chair, he pressed his face into Remus’ warm neck. 

They sat there for a while, neither spoke, neither moved apart from the rise and fall of their chests, soon syncronised to one another. After a time Remus shifted and Sirius lifted his head to meet his eyes. Those eyes, that glowed golden in the firelight, that face thrown into such angularities by the undulating shadows, that copper hair burnished bronze. “You are so beautiful,” Sirius whispered, cupping Remus’ face in his palm; Remus’ face flickered, the expression of someone unused to such earnest sentiments. Sirius’ raised Remus’s chin with a finger and kissed him lightly. This person, this man who had given him a place to stay for the night without hesitation. Who had smuggled him whiskey to warm him, provided laughter to cheer him, music to soothe him; this man deserved to have such compliments showered upon him like the rain that fell just beyond the thick stone walls of the cottage they sat in. 

“Let’s go upstairs,” Sirius said pulling away from Remus just far enough to incline his head towards the staircase. 

“I...I can’t…  _ we _ can’t” Remus stuttered. 

Sirius silenced him with another deft kiss. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” he said quietly. “I might not know much about Vivaldi or Tchaikovsky, but I do know two things. One,” he pecked Remus’ left cheek, “it’s going to be a long cold night, and Two,” he kissed Remus’s right cheek, “that would be a lot more bearable with you in my arms.” Sirius looked into Remus’ eyes and cocked his head slightly. Remus nodded slowly and Sirius got up from the chair, Remus stood, their height difference never more apparent. Reaching up Sirius pulled at the grey jumper Remus was wearing, obligingly Remus lifted his arms and Sirius removed it, placing it next to his jeans on the firegrate. In turn Sirius pulled off his own jumper. Sirius brushed his hands gently over Remus’s narrow chest, running his right hand up his neck he pulled Remus down to kiss him, with his left he found Remus’ own and pressed his thumb into the other man’s palm. 

“Take me to bed,” Sirius urged, not taking his eyes off of Remus’. Remus nodded and smiled, long fingers wrapped around Sirius’s hand as he was led across the living room and up the stairs. 


	8. Chapter 8

* * *

**No Trains On Sundays**

**December 1986**

* * *

Sirius woke up softly, the kind of way one always hopes to start a day. A shaft of cool sunlight arched through the open curtains of Remus’s bedroom and onto the soft quilted bed, he buried his face into the pillow and breathed in the scent. He had always had a keen sense of smell, something James had teased him mercilessly for, but it had its uses. The pillow was a combined fragrance, first was his own coconut shampoo, drawn out by the rainwater, under that though, was the smell of Remus, a curious combination of sandalwood, leather-bound books and chocolate. Sirius smiled into the pillow and turned his head to the other side of the bed, alarmingly empty. 

He sat up in bed and gazed around, he hadn’t yet seen this room in the daylight, the opposite wall was coated in a cream wallpaper with a pink and blue flower pattern; this was not immediately clear however, as almost every inch of the space was covered in framed paintings, illustrations and photographs. Dominating the wall was a large canvas painted with an image of a blue parrot, similar to the one he remembered Remus holding in the family photograph. Dotted around the canvas were framed photographs of people Sirius assumed were family and friends, more sketches and watercolours filled the spaces between them.

Sirius slid to the end of the bed and retrieved his borrowed tracksuit bottoms, he pulled them on and approached the door; scanning the wall as he went, a small framed photo caught his eye and he stopped, bending down for a better look. It was a photo of two boys, sitting on a riverbank, their feet dangling into the water. One was clearly Remus, his trousers rolled up, displaying his pale calves; the other Sirius recognised from the painting the previous evening, he was wearing the same t-shirt and jeans and was grinning, posing with a fishing rod, attached to the end of which was a single white trainer. Remus was laughing, one hand rising to his mouth. 

Sirius swallowed and turned to the door, he briskly descended the stairs and into the living room. The fire had gone out and he removed his dry t-shirt from the grate, he pulled it on and rounded the corner into the kitchen. 

“Morning,” Remus smiled, “didn’t want to wake you up, you looked so peaceful,” he teased, turning back to the counter where a newspaper was laid out.

“Thanks,” Sirius smiled rather shyly, taking a seat at the tiny kitchen table. 

“Did you want anything to eat, I haven’t been to the shop so I’ve only really got toast, but they do a carvery at the pub on Sundays,” Remus paused, “if you wanted to stick around?”

“Sounds great,” Sirius replied, “and yeah, toast is good.”

“Cool,” Remus removed a loaf from a bread bin and cut a few slices off, Sirius watched his back. “Do you want tea or coffee?” Remus asked, turning round and dragging Sirius out of his thoughts.

“Coffee would be great, just black,” Sirius nodded.

“Okiedokie,” Remus poured the kettle into two teacups and, he turned and leant against the counter. “You sleep well?”

“Yeah, your bed is so comfortable,” Sirius replied blushing slightly, “and you.”

“Yeah,” Remus smiled, “You know you snore?”

“Oh god, was it really bad?” Sirius put his hands over his face, he peaked at Remus through his splayed fingers.

“No,” Remus chuckled, stirring a teaspoon into each cup, “it’s cute.” He handed a coffee to Sirius and sipped at his own. 

Sirius copied him, “James always used to take the piss out of me for it, you’re lucky I don’t have a cold, it’s even worse then,” Sirius smiled ruefully, glad that the air of awkwardness had dissipated. 

The toaster clicked and Remus retrieved two slices, slipping them into a toast rack, he passed Sirius two plates and knives and opened a cupboard. Delicately he slid a few jars onto the table and sat down. 

Sirius watched him spread jam on his own slice, cut it diagonally and ate a half, then Remus got up to retrieve two more slices from the toaster and sat again, raising a quizzical eyebrow to Sirius who had left his own food untouched.

“How did you find out?” Sirius asked quietly. 

Remus observed him over his teacup before setting it aside with a small sigh, he folded his hands over his stomach. “A friend from school contacted me in Second Year. He was sick, they didn’t know what was going on, even less than they know now.” Remus paused and rubbed his jaw, “we had run in the same circles, especially the summer before Uni,” his eyebrow quirked, “he said I should get tested… so I did.” Sirius could feel the corners of his lips quiver and he pressed them together, nodding. Remus glanced up at him and smiled sadly, “he died two months later.” 

“I’m sorry,” Sirius croaked, reaching over the table he grasped Remus’ hand, the other man smiled gratefully. 

“That was him, in the painting, Petey… Peter,” Remus nodded his head in the direction of the living room.

“And you were… just friends?” Sirius asked delicately.

Remus’ eyebrows raised in surprise, “Me and Petey? Oh no, God no,” he laughed. “I mean, yeah, I loved him but, just as a friend.” 

Sirius nodded, ashamed at the sense of relief he felt.

“He was a good guy, not the brightest bulb; not a great judge of character, fell into the wrong crowd,” Remus swallowed. But he could make me laugh like no one else,” he sighed wistfully. “The other guys, my friends, followed him soon after. Come to think of it, I think I’m the only one left of that little gang...” Remus stifled something that sounded an awful lot like a sob and he rubbed at his eyes bitterly.

Sirius let out a shaky breath and squeezed Remus’ hand tighter, “I’m so glad you’re still here,” he whispered, despite himself. 

Remus looked up abruptly, his eyes brimmed with tears and when he blinked his long eyelashes formed soft spikes. “No one knows why I am,” he breathed, Sirius shook his head in confusion and he continued, “I mean I take my meds, I go into York every month for a checkup but, I don’t know.” He inhaled shakily, “It’s strange, they say that my T-cell counts are good, there doesn’t seem to be much… progressing.” He shrugged and sniffed, gazing vaguely at his free hand in his lap.

“Maybe it’s all this good Yorkshire air you’re getting,” Sirius attempted to laugh.

Remus snorted, “Maybe,” he said quietly. 

They sat like that for a long time, hand in hand, both lost in thought.

“Your toast will be cold,” Remus murmured finally.

“Oh no, it’s fine, I kind of prefer it like this,” Sirius smiled, applying a liberally thick layer of honey.

Remus steeled himself and picked up his knife, considering his options, “Yay or nay?,” Remus smiled, brandishing a pot of Marmite in his hand.

“Oh god, nay, absolutely,” Sirius grimaced convulsively.

Remus laughed, “If only I had known,” he mused, “only Marmite lovers are allowed in  _ this  _ house.”

“I’ll be getting my stuff then,” Sirius laughed. 

Remus smiled at him and shifted in his seat, “Do you have any plans for today?” 

Sirius finished his toast, brushing his hands together over the plate, “Not really,” he mumbled, “actually, could I borrow your phone again?”

“Sure,” Remus gestured at the phone, he turned his attention back to his newspaper.

Sirius dialled the number once more and pulled the spring cord around into the living room to give Remus some space.

“Still alive then?” answered the voice on the other end.

“Yes, James,” Sirius snapped. 

“You alright?” James seemed put off by his tone.

Sirius sighed, “Sorry, yeah I’m fine.”

“Okay,” James replied hesitantly, “well mum and I have been looking at some maps and…” Sirius heard rustling, “we reckon if you can get to either,” he paused, “Harrogate or York, you’ll be able to get a train down this afternoon.”

“Yeah?” Sirius turned, he watched as Remus flicked through the paper, humming quietly to himself, “not sure if I’ll be able to get anywhere today, mate.” He saw Remus begin to turn towards him and shifted clumsily out of sight.

“Well what are you going to do, stay there all weekend?” James replied irritably.

“I don’t know,” Sirius confessed.

“Well let one of us know when you do,” James huffed.

“I will, Harrogate or York you say?”

“Yeah,” James replied, “Oh and listen, so I know we were going to go into Camden for New Years but, Lily wants to move her stuff over earlier and she invited me to Paris until the 6th, I think she’s pretty nervous about it all and I think it would be cool if…”

“That’s fine mate, good idea,” Sirius interrupted. Lily was studying in Paris for the following semester, Sirius had heard precious else other than this fact for the past four months and was hesitant to open another channel for James to profess his great concern that Lily was going to fall in love with some strapping Frenchman whilst she was away.

“I think we’re going to get the ferry to Calais and then drive down from there,” James said, mostly to himself, 

“Sounds amazing, maybe you could propose on New Years,” Sirius laughed.

“Oh god I hadn’t even thought of that,” James gasped, “do you… shall I?” 

“I already got you that first date James, I’m not planning the proposal too, stag night I’ll do but that’s my limit,” Sirius cautioned.

“Okay fine, fine,” James agreed, “She sounded weird on the phone, she said she needs to tell me something, what if she wants to break things off whilst she’s in Paris?”

“I really don’t think that’s it,” Sirius assured him, biting his lip. He had exchanged a meaningful look with Lily just the other night when he had noticed that all she was drinking at the Yule Ball was orange juice.

“Try and come down today mate, we were _meant_ to have plans this weekend," James pleaded. "I still need to get something for my mum,” he whispered.

“I’ll try but I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that without a  _ wallet _ .” 

“Oh yeah, shit.” James muttered.

“I’ll work something out, speak to you in a bit."

“Alright then, bye,” James replied.

Sirius hung up the phone and slumped back in his chair, Remus looked up from his paper, “Harrogate?” he inquired. 

“James was just suggesting places that I might be able to catch a train,” Sirius replied, dragging his finger through the dry crumbs on his plate. 

“You would have to change at York if you went from Harrogate,” Remus replied, rather dully.

“Oh okay, York it is.” 

Remus nodded stiffly, “I’d offer to drive you but my car’s broken down.”

“You have a car?” Sirius asked, stunned.

“Yeah, it’s outside,” Remus waved his hand at the back porch next to the kitchen.

“Can I take a look at it?” Sirius asked, “I might be able to get it working.”

“Well, when I say it’s broken down I actually mean it’s never worked, at least not whilst it’s been here.” Remus smiled, “My dad and Jerry, you know the bloke from last night? They’ve been doing it up.”

Sirius nodded, intrigued, he was more of a motorbike kind of guy but he had a good mind for mechanics and enjoyed tinkering with machines. 

“You can have a look if you want, they said they were almost done when my dad left last time,” Remus stood and beckoned for Sirius to follow, he slid on a pair of wellington boots by the back door, “What size are you?” he asked.

“Um like a nine, ten,” Sirius lied.

“Well my mum is an eight, so…” Remus held out a pair of pink polka dot boots as rummaged in a closet.

“You know what,” Sirius took the boots, “I think they’ll be okay.” He slid them on with ease and followed Remus outside. 

The car was covered in a grey tarpaulin, weighted down with breezeblocks, Remus went about removing them before they both dragged the sheet away. 

Beneath sat a pale blue Ford Anglia, Sirius stood back to admire it. “My dad said something about brake-pads?” Remus said, “I really am clueless when it comes to cars!”

“I’ll have a look,” Sirius laughed.

“Okay, well I’ll get you a coat, all my dad’s tools are in the garage, I’ll get the key,” Remus smiled. 


	9. Chapter 9

* * *

**No Trains On Sundays**

**December 1986**

* * *

Sirius spent the next few hours working on the car, Remus had been right, it was almost finished and the last few touches were relatively easy tasks; Sirius elongated them to last three times longer than they usually would have taken him. Remus flitted in and out of the house and garden, sometimes bearing tea and biscuits, sometimes stopping to watch him work and ask questions. Sirius got the feeling Remus couldn’t care less about car repair and maintenance, but he appreciated the company and couldn’t ignore the thrill it gave him hear the back door scrape open. At one point he had been taking a break and was watching Remus pottering around in a small vegetable plot, he approached him quietly, he couldn't help but smile when he realised that Remus was actually talking to the plants. Some gravel crunched under Sirius’ boot and Remus looked up flustered. “They’re my mum’s,” he blushed standing up, “I’m really trying not to let them die.” Sirius nodded as Remus came to stand next to him, “Oh, you have something,” Remus pointed at Sirius’ face, before he had time to react he had pulled the sleeve over his hand, and gently wiped at a smudge of oil on Sirius’ cheek.

At around midday a sudden flurry of sleat forced him inside and he sat warming his toes by the fire, Remus approached him and deposited what had to be his fifth cup of tea of the day into his numb, oil-blackened fingers, he smiled appreciatively as Remus climbed into the armchair opposite.

“I can’t wait to see my dad’s face when I pick them up from the airport in the car,” Remus beamed.

“He won’t be angry that I’ve finished it for him?” Sirius asked.

“I doubt it, I think the whole thing was a little out of his depth, to be honest I think he’ll be relieved,” Remus chuckled. 

“What are your plans for Christmas?” Sirius asked inelegantly, he half hoped he might be able to wangle a way in which Remus could come for Christmas at the Potter’s.

“My parents are coming home,” Remus smiled.

“Oh, great,” Sirius replied, a little crestfallen, “when do they arrive?”

“Christmas Eve,” Remus agreed, “It will be nice to see them.”

“Do you ever wish your parents hadn't moved around so much?”

Remus considered this for a moment, “No, not really, I mean I went around with them until secondary school, I was home-schooled,” he chuckled. “Yeah I'm one of those weirdos.”

Sirius smiled, “You didn’t feel abandoned once you got older?” he couldn’t avoid the feeling that he was projecting a little.

“I liked school,” Remus shrugged, “I had Peter and the others, we stuck together, to be honest it was nice to have a bit of stability.” Remus smiled.

“Same,” Sirius agreed, “I always looked forward to school when I was younger, any excuse to get away from _my_ parents. Then James and his family basically adopted me.” 

“He sounds like a great guy,” Remus smiled.

“He is,” Sirius nodded, “I tell you he’s going to ask Lily to marry him?”

“Wow,” Remus beamed, “how wonderful!”

“Knowing Lily it’ll be an amazing one,” Sirius grinned.

“I love weddings,” Remus sighed.

“You could come?” Sirius said hesitantly, “you could come with me?”

Remus observed him sadly, he cleared his throat, “I’m not really much one for making plans too far in advance, these days.”

“Oh,” Sirius breathed, “of course.”

“Still,” Remus heartened, “thank you for the invite. You think she’s ready for a test drive?” he nodded at the back door.

“I think so,” Sirius nodded, “I just need to put in some new oil,” he said, standing up. 

“Cool, then maybe we could go on a walk before lunch?”

******

A cold breeze was beginning to pick up, buffeting its way along the valley to where the two men now stood side by side on the stone bridge below the cottage. Sirius was wearing, due to Remus’ insistence, a borrowed striped scarf, and matching hat which he pulled down over his reddening ears.

“How long have your parents been away?” Sirius asked.

“Um, about three months,” Remus replied distractedly tugging at a clump of moss wedged between two stones. “They were meant to be in Peru for longer but…” he turned and leant against the wall, taking a deep breath of crisp air. 

Sirius watched him out of the corner of his eye.

“My mum worries,” Remus continued, “I basically had to push her out of the door last time.” 

“So your parents know about…” Sirius faltered. 

“Yeah, _that_ was an ordeal,” Remus mumbled. “They still want me to go back to Cambridge though.”

“What did you study? I forgot to ask,” Sirius tried to steer the conversation.

“History,” Remus replied stiffly.

“And you don’t want to go back?”

Remus pursed his lips, “I don’t really see the point, I mean, it’s going to get me sooner or later.” He gestured at his body and sighed, narrowing his eyes and scanning the rugged horizon.

“But you can’t just put your life on pause like that,” Sirius pressed, turning to him.

Remus turned his head sharply towards him, “My life isn’t on pause, Sirius,” he snapped. “It’s _ending_ , the music is over and I’m just winding my way round that the last little bit of tape,” he made a circular motion in the air with his finger. 

Sirius inhaled sharply, “You don’t know that,” he replied quietly.

“I’ve seen my friends drop like flies,” Remus flared. “Every single day people like me, people like us are getting sick and dying,” his voice strained with emotion. “I’m sick of being told to look on the bright side of life, I’m sick of being told to plan for a future I _don’t have_.” Remus bit his trembling lip, he seemed surprised by the force of his own words.

Sirius froze next him, aghast. 

Remus took a shaky breath and turned back to the water, “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, “I know you’re just being nice.”

Sirius suddenly felt very hot, he tugged at the scarf around his neck, taking in short quavering breaths.

They both stood in silence for a while, watching the river glide beneath them.

“Let’s go back in,” Remus finally muttered.

Sirius followed Remus back up the hill, a pain was emanating from deep inside his chest making it hard to breath and he strained to keep up with the taller man. When they arrived at the cottage Remus waved him inside but did not follow him.

“I just need to check something,” Remus muttered.

“I’ll just wash up,” Sirius mumbled feebly. 

Remus nodded stiffly and stepped away from the door.

Sirius closed the bathroom door behind him and leant against it, he took in a long breath before his knees buckled and he slid to the floor, head in hands. He let out a sob he hadn’t realised he was repressing, hot tears spilled from his eyes and he let them fall, his shoulders shuddering against the wood. He had never been one to cry easily, years of parentally enforced emotional repression had so often appeared to stunt this reflex, but now tears came easily to him. After a few moments he steeled himself and stood up, he scrubbed at the grime around his nails and splashed at his face, waiting for the cold water to dispel the redness of his skin, he sighed and opened the door. Finding himself alone he exchanged his borrowed coat and boots with his own and stepped outside. 

He found Remus in the garden, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his coat, the scarf he was wearing was wrapped up to his nose, and was gazing out across the field. “It’s beautiful here in the summer,” Remus whispered, he turned silently and seemed almost surprised to see Sirius standing beside him, wordlessly he marched to the garden gate, holding it open, Sirius followed him down the road.

*****

They ate lunch quietly, the food was good although Sirius barely tasted it. Remus seemed to enliven in the familiar hustle and bustle, he smiled and greeted the patrons he recognised, which was nearly all of them. More than once he had to repeat himself as Sirius hadn’t been listening, his words kept pinging around in Sirius’ head, “ _it’s going to get me sooner or later.”_ When they had finished, Remus had cleared the table himself, smiling at the grateful waitress that had been darting around the tables all afternoon, he had returned to the table and given Sirius a tightlipped smile, nodding at the door. Sirius had followed him dutifully. 

When they got back to the cottage Sirius had stood awkwardly on the doorstep, a sudden feeling that he had far overstayed his welcome consumed him. Remus paused half-way across the living room and turned back to him, “Sirius,” Remus grasped at his sleeve, “I’m sorry for what I said, I was being a prat. You are such a beautiful, wonderful person, and last night… well, last night was wonderful too.”

Sirius nodded, “It was,” he agreed sheepishly. He straightened to look into Remus’ eyes, “I’m sorry too, I have no idea what you’re going through, it’s just that, I can’t bear the thought of you giving up.” 

“I know, thank you.” Remus replied earnestly, “now would you come in, you’re letting in the cold.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Sirius chuckled, pulling the door to. 

Remus’ hand was still on Sirius’ sleeve and the two men simultaneously looked down and entwined their fingers. Remus, reached out and removed Sirius’ hat, languidly he ran his fingers through his hair before he bent down and kissed Sirius, tenderly at first and then more deeply. Sirius wriggled out of his jacket whilst Remus shrugged his own off, allowing it to slide to the floor as he guided Sirius to the sofa.

****

“We’re going to miss the train,” Remus giggled, pulling away.

“I don’t care,” Sirius growled, dragging him back down towards him. 

“No, no,” Remus laughed, rolling off the sofa and standing up, “as they say in show business, always leave them wanting more.”

“You’re cruel,” Sirius lamented, lying back onto the cushions, dramatically.

“And _you’re_ just going to have to come _back_ ,” Remus quickly pecked Sirius on the mouth before deftly side stepping out of his reach.

“Come on, get dressed or you’re going to have to stay another night,” he flapped his hands at Sirius.

“Because that would be _such a shame_ ,” Sirius teased. 

Remus suppressed a grin, “Sounds like James needs you, you only have a few days to plan this proposal.” 

Sirius groaned, pulling a cushion over his face.

“Oh come on, don’t you think it’s exciting? I do love weddings.” Remus beamed, scanning the room for his missing shoe. 

****

“How long does it take to get to York?” Sirius asked, pulling on his seatbelt.

“Not too long, 25 minutes or so.” Remus replied, turning the key in the ignition delicately. 

To Sirius’ secret dismay the car rumbled into life and Remus pulled it out onto the road. 

They passed the deserted train station and along the pin-straight road, it was beginning to drop dark, the days were short this time of year and Remus flicked the headlights on. Sirius watched the fields pass by and tried to ignore the melancholy feeling that was beginning to creep up on him. He turned his attention to the radio and switched it on, he wound through the static until he found a reasonably steady channel that was playing the end of a Christmas song. 

“You don’t have a Christmas tree up in your house yet?” Sirius asked.

Remus snorted and glanced at him, “Oh, you’re not joking,” he smiled, “I’m Jewish.”

“Oh, I didn’t realise,” Sirius blushed.

“It’s okay, we’re not particularly religious, we do Hanukkah and some of the other holidays but it’s pretty relaxed,” Remus replied, turning onto a wider road. 

The radio began to buzz and he leant forward to re-tune it, 

_Well we know where we’re going_

_But we don’t know where we’ve been..._

“Hey!,” Sirius cheered, “Love this one,” he turned up the volume and Remus laughed. 

“... _And we know what we want, and the future is certain, give us time to work it out,”_ Remus sang, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. 

Sirius joined him and they sang merrily along to the radio as they flew by the sleepy chocolate-box villages that flanked their route. Too soon they arrived at the outskirts of the city and Sirius turned the volume down.

“You know what you said about coming back?”

“Mhmm,” Remus replied, watching a traffic light.

“What are you doing for New Years?” 

Remus glanced at him, “This New Years? Um, nothing, my parents are off to some gala at the university so I’m home alone.”

“What if I came back then, you know, on purpose this time.” Sirius grinned.

“You don’t have any plans for New Years? I thought you would be doing something with James.”

“James and Lily will be in Paris, she’s moving into her new flat.”

“Lily’s moving to Paris?”

“Only for a semester, although according to James that’s a lifetime.” 

“Well I mean, you know I'm not one for making plans," he quirked an eyebrow, "I would love to have you but it might be a bit boring,” Remus smiled, “we usually have something on at the pub but I haven't decided what to do, we did karaoke last year which was… interesting.”

“I don’t mind, no one should ring in the New Year without someone to kiss,” Sirius winked.

Remus chuckled, “Okay, do you want to take my number, there’s a pen in the glove compartment if you have something to write on.”

Sirius rummaged around in his pocket but found nothing to write on, he retrieved the pen and held out his other hand, Remus recited his number and Sirius read it out to check. He scrutinized the numbers, trying to commit them to memory, he was going to get back to Remus even if he somehow lost his hand in the next few hours.

“Oh,” he gasped, “I know what you can do for New Years! A trivia night!”

Remus laughed, “that’s not a bad idea,” he agreed.

After a few more minutes, Remus pulled the car into a small car park and turned off the engine, “Okay, I need to get some cash out, there’s a hole in the wall round the corner, you stay here so I don’t get a ticket.”

Sirius nodded, he watched as Remus crossed the road briskly and disappeared round a corner. 

*****

“Alrighty, next train is at 4.04 so you have 10 minutes, here you go,” Remus held out his hand. 

“What is this?” Sirius asked, “oh no, I can't…”

Remus shook his hand insistently. 

“Are you sure, you’ve done so much for me already.”

“We’re a little past that, don’t you think?” Remus winked. 

Sirius nodded, blushing slightly.

“You need cash, Sirius, take it,” Remus pushed the notes into Sirius’ hand.

Sirius sighed, “Thanks, I’ll pay you back as soon as I can,” he folded the money and tucked it into his jacket pocket. 

They sat for a moment watching the hum of the city pass before them, suddenly Sirius took Remus by the hand. 

“Thank you, for everything,” he looked deep into Remus’ amber eyes, desperate not to leave his side. 

“You too, Sirius,” Remus whispered, he looked quickly around the car then leant over and kissed him tenderly. 

“You’re allowed to plan ahead Remus,” Sirius kissed him back, he held Remus’ face in his hands, “you’re not going anywhere.”

Remus nodded into Sirius’ hands, a tear rolled down his cheek and Sirius brushed it away with his thumb, they kissed again.

“You should go,” Remus murmured, “not that I want you to but…”

“Yeah, me too,” Sirius lamented as he zipped his jacket, he opened the door and put one foot on the pavement, he turned and kissed Remus for the last time, “I’ll see you soon.”

“You better,” Remus smiled. 

Sirius dragged himself out of the car into the misty rain, he closed the door, and walked around the car as Remus wound down his window. 

“Have a good Christmas!” Remus called. 

“You too,” Sirius paused, “and a good Hanukkah!”

Briskly he ascended the steps to the station entrance and turned, Remus waved at him, somewhere above him, the station clock chimed 4.

“You have a future Remus!” Sirius called, “You just have to be brave enough to believe in it!” 

He saw Remus pause, and then a wide smile broke across his face, he waved a final goodbye and began to pull out into the traffic. Sirius watched the little blue car fade further down the street and finally disappear, he turned and sauntered into the station.


	10. Chapter 10

* * *

**No Trains On Sundays**

**July 2006**

* * *

“Oh god,” Lily groaned, grimacing at the car horn that blared outside, “ I don't know why he’s got his knickers in a twist, we’ve got plenty of time.”

“Thanks for getting the ticket for me, Lil,” Sirius smiled. He adjusted his tie in the mirror and combed his grey flecked hair with his fingers. His suit was well tailored, yet he still felt awkward in it, as if he was wearing someone else’s clothes.

“It’s alright love, I know he wants you there, besides one of Ginny’s brothers couldn't make it so it was free anyway,” Lily breezed, putting in an earring. “He's gone to Bulgaria or Romania or something like that.”

“How many brothers does this girl have again?” Sirius laughed. 

“Oh um, four? Five?”

James stomped into the room, “What's taking you two so long? “

“Oh James, how many brothers does Ginny have?” Lily asked, ignoring his tone. 

“If I tell you will you both get in the damn car?” James demanded 

Lily rolled her eyes at Sirius and smiled. 

“Yes dear, we’re coming.”

“Thank you!” James sighed, “And I think it's 5? Are we including Ron in this tally?” 

Lily picked up her handbag and wrapped her arm around her husband’s waist, guiding him out of the room. Sirius watched the two leave, he dismissed James’ glare with a flick of his hand, smirking to himself. 

He inspected himself in the mirror for a moment, wiped his clammy hands on his trousers, took a deep breath and followed the pair to the car. 

*****

Sirius remained uncharacteristically quiet during the drive, he half listened to his old friends chatter as they wove their way through the Saturday city traffic. When they arrived, James pulled the car up onto the pavement and Lily and Sirius got out. Lily winced as the car lurched unhappily back onto the road and vanished round the corner, she lay a hand on Sirius' back and smiled comfortingly, “You alright love? You’re very quiet.”

“I’m alright, just tired,” Sirius nodded scanning the square and the growing crowd around them.

“Remember when this was us?” Lily smiled, gazing up at the squat yellow-bricked hall.

Sirius nodded, suddenly feeling very old.

They ascended the steps and waited by the main entrance. Sirius peered over the crowd of black caps and raised an arm at James who was slowly making his way over to them. James waved a camera at them and grinned, turning to a group of girls who were posing in-front of a banner Sirius could not read. 

The group dispersed and a red-haired girl took the camera from James, the pair began chatting animatedly as they made their way up to where Lily and Sirius stood. 

“Oh hi Mrs Potter… Lily,” Ginny smiled, she looked flushed and content, her long hair sticking out and angles from the black graduation cap that was perched on her head. 

“Congratulations love,” Lily beamed, Sirius moved aside as the two hugged, “have you seen my son?”

“Um, I saw him a while ago,” Ginny rose on her tiptoes and scanned the immediate vicinity.

A stocky, dark skinned girl ran up behind Ginny, wrapped her arms around her waist and spun her around, “come on Gin, we need to go,” she laughed.

“Oh okay, I’ll see you after,” Ginny grinned at them before following her friend towards the hall entrance.

James appeared at Sirius’ side, his role as impromptu photographer apparently over. “Come on, I want a good seat,” James pestered, trying to steer Lily through the crowd of black robes. 

“We’re assigned seats, James,” Lily huffed but she allowed herself to be pulled away, before they passed through the auditorium door she turned and mouthed  _ “See you in there,”  _ Sirius nodded and gestured for her to go.

Sirius made his way slowly through the throng to the bar, he ordered a whisky and downed it in two gulps, he held the cool glass against his forehead, he hadn’t realised how much he was sweating. His heart was beating too fast, he asked the barman for a glass of water and gulped at it. He watched as the crowd began to thin, proud parents grasping cameras, bored siblings tapping at their phones and the odd professor or two in their fur cuffed robes. Sirius felt a sting of sorrow, he could have been one of these parents, a proud dad watching his kid graduate university, if things had been different.

Sirius steeled himself and joined the queue into the auditorium, he passed his ticket to an usher and was pointed in the direction of his seat, he took his seat beside Lily on the balcony.

“Can you see him?” Lily asked, leaning this way and that in her chair. 

“I don't think so,” James stood and surveyed the sea of black caps below them.

“There he is, third row back, middleish” Sirius pointed and Lily followed his finger. 

“Oh yes, there he is,” she waved as Harry twisted in his seat and looked up at them, he grinned and patted a girl's shoulder in the row in front of him, Ginny turned and looked up, Sirius shivered convulsively, he could have sworn that he was looking at James and Lily from twenty years ago.

A tall and willowy older woman stepped out from the seated row of professors at the back of the stage, in a thick Scottish accent she welcomed the assembly and begun the ceremony. 

Names were read out, Sirius clapped obligingly, Ginny crossed the stage to accept her diploma, a hearty cheer emanated from the row of red-headed family members beside him. A similar hooting sound came from a scattering of girls that were dotted around the hall, Ginny grinned and waved at her family, making a little mock curtsey at her supporters. 

Soon after, it was Harry’s turn to receive his diploma, a similar, if slightly more subdued cheer rose from the crowd, Lily and James clapped their hands above their heads.

“A little break with tradition now,” said the University President who had reinstated herself in the centre of the stage, “to celebrate his new post, I would like to welcome our new Head of the History Department who will be presenting the history diplomas, Professor Lupin.”

Sirius grinned and straightened in his chair. He watched as a tall robed figure made his way along the front row and up the stage steps. 

He was wearing a light brown tweed suit and white shirt, Sirius smirked, Remus had called him flustered this morning asking him if he should wear the white or pale blue shirt, Sirius had suggested he wear nothing under his robes and Remus had hung up on him dramatically. A minute later his phone had vibrated with a text, three kisses. 

Remus stepped up to the podium and retrieved a sheet of paper from under his robes, he flattened it onto the wood and began,

“Dear graduates of 2006, I am honoured to be speaking on behalf of the History department today, I will make this as brief as possible, I would not like to hinder anyone’s progress to the bar,” there was a brief titter from the crowd before he continued. “It is a great honour to have been bestowed on me the title of Head of Department, it is a title that I have long wished to hold but was never quite sure I would be able to grasp. What I most wish to impart on you, class of 2006 is that however steep the climb, however impossible the task looks, there is always a way forward. Over the past three years you, I hope have made lifelong friends, I hope that you will continue to support your friends as you venture out into the big wide world, life can be so very daunting, but it is immeasurably less so with someone by your side. It is indeed a big wide world, and though you now have passed through this step in your education and lives, it is to the future you must look, not the past, as a wise man once told me," Remus paused, stifling a smile, "the future is yours, you just have to be brave enough to believe in it.”

There was an applause as Remus stepped away from the podium, Lily and James cheered and Sirius saw Remus look up towards where they sat and laughed, embarrassed. 

“That was lovely,” he heard Molly Weasley whisper to Lily who nodded enthusiastically over the din.

*****

Sirius leant against the wall of the foyer and watched as students, professors and parents filed out of the hall, finally he spotted Remus who was chatting animatedly to a frizzy haired, timid looking woman with large thick lensed glasses.

“Hello Darling,” Sirius breathed planting a kiss on Remus’ mouth. Remus was startled and looked around self consciously, Sirius chuckled, “no one cares, baby.”

“I’ll speak to you in a bit, Sybill,” Remus nodded, he shepherded Sirius to a quieter area of the room and smiled, holding his arms out, “what do you think?”

“Very regal, and the white was the right choice,” Sirius replied, adjusting Remus’ collar. 

“Thanks,” Remus beamed, “ and what about my speech?”

“It was great!” James interrupted, slapping Remus on the back.

“Lovely sweetheart,” Lily furthered. 

“Where's, Harry?” Sirius asked, glad for the interruption.

“He's just getting his photo done,” Lily pointed up the stairs to where a photography booth had been set up, he saw Harry leaning backwards over the bannister holding a disposable camera, no doubt taking another photo of Ginny and her teammates.

“Drink?” Remus inquired, nodding at the bar.

*****

An unfamiliarly uneasy silence fell between them as they waited to be served, neither seemed willing or equipt to break it.

“Have you put any more thought into it?” Sirius finally asked quietly.

Remus seemed not to have heard him, Sirius opened his mouth to repeat himself when he answered. “I haven’t changed my mind, Sirius,” Remus replied, folding his arms over his chest defensively, “if we do it, I want to do it properly.”

“It would be proper, babe,” Sirius insisted, he savoured the smirk that rose on Remus’ lips, he could never keep a straight face when he called him that. “I don’t understand why you can’t accept that this is how it is for us.”

“I know it’s stupid Sirius, I know it’s only one day and that it doesn’t matter and that it’s ridiculous but,” Remus sighed, “I want a wedding, a proper one, with flowers and bow ties and overpriced drinks.” I want to call you my husband, not my partner, my  _ husband.” _

Sirius inhaled and looked around exasperated, “We can do all that, we can make a day of it, we can do it just like we would if it was an actual  _ marriage.  _ No one would know the difference.”

“I would,” Remus muttered quietly, “I would know.” 

Sirius sighed and took a drink, “and what if it never happens, Remus, what then?” pain strained his voice. Remus’ nose and cheeks were slightly pink, he had fallen asleep on the beach whilst they were on holiday in Cornwall the week before and he had gotten sunburnt. He had been annoyed at Sirius for not waking him up and had only shut up about it when, during a walk on the cliffs, Sirius had gotten down on one knee and asked him to marry him. Remus had fallen to his knees and kissed Sirius, who had assumed that meant a Yes, the conversation that had followed on the drive back home had forced him to revise that assumption. The following day Sirius had been called away for work and the pair had not seen one another until today. 

“I believe it will happen, my love. Of all people you were the one who taught me to believe in the future.”

“Yes, but…”

“Sirius,” Remus breathed, taking Sirius’ hands in his own, “If you had told me twenty years ago that I would be standing here,  _ alive, _ not to mention with  _ the love of my life _ , I would have told you that I don’t like fairy tales. We’ve come so far, what’s a few more years? We’ve got plenty of time.”

Sirius sighed and nodded, Remus was right, they had made it this far, and if it meant being with Remus, he would wait another 20 years to make him happy.

“One day I hope it will be our day, darling, but today is about Harry, so let’s just enjoy it, let’s enjoy one another’s company, let’s enjoy being alive.”

“Okay,” Sirius agreed, he took Remus’ hand and squeezed it tightly, a few seconds elapsed before Remus squeezed back even tighter.


	11. Chapter 11

* * *

**No Trains On Sundays**

**May 2014**

* * *

He hadn’t expected him to  _ cry. _

“James, mate, this is as bad as when I asked you to do this in the first place,” Sirius joked, patting his friend’s back.

“I know, shit I’m such a mess,” James snuffled, wiping at his eyes, “I’m just really happy for you.”

Sirius smirked, “You know what? I’m pretty happy for me too.” He straightened James’ tie, “now, you think you can get a hold of yourself, if I have my best man blubbering at the alter people will think there’s something going on between us,” Sirius whispered conspiratorially. 

James chuckled, “It wouldn’t be the first time,” he agreed. A faint buzzing sound emanated from James’ pocket and he withdrew his phone, “Ah, the best woman wants to know if we’re all ready to go.” 

“I’ve been ready for decades,” Sirius grinned.

“C’mon then, let’s make an honest man out of you,” James put his arm round Sirius’ shoulder and they stepped out into the early summer sunshine.

*****

The drive was short and mainly a formality, James had always been and continued to be, a terrible driver, and Sirius breathed a sigh of relief when he pulled the pale blue, newly refurbished, Ford Anglia onto the gravel courtyard of the manor house. He hopped out and gazed about, a figure appeared at the front step and waved at him.

“Hi mum,” James called, making his way up the stone steps to the large front door, Sirius followed him.

“Hello darling,” Euphemia embraced Sirius tightly, her eyes were already watering, “you survived the drive then?” 

“Yes,” James sighed, rolling his eyes. 

“Well come in, come in, I’ve got them right here,” Euphemia beckoned the two men to a side table adorned with christal-white moonflowers, powder blue forget-me-nots and peach pink roses. She passed them each a buttonhole, instinctively helping Sirius affix it to his lapel. She stepped back to look at them and the handkerchief re-appeared, she dabbed at her eyes, “I’m so happy for you my darling,” she grasped Sirius’ hand in her own, wrinkled one, “your father would be so proud,” she addressed them both. “My beautiful son’s,” Euphemia choked, emotions finally got the best of her, tears burst from her dark eyes and James and Sirius reflexively encircled her in a hug. 

After a few moments they broke apart, Sirius’ hand remained on his mother’s shoulder, “Well that’s two Potters down, just need to get Lily and Harry blubbing and I’ll have the full set,” he laughed, blinking away his own tears. 

“Oh, we better get moving,” James called, peering out of the window, beyond his shoulder Sirius saw a red ‘80s convertible hove into view along the dusty drive. “Lily will actually murder me if I let you see him before the wedding,” James said, taking Sirius by the sleeve and pulling him towards a door.

“I think we’re a little past that, James,” Sirius laughed, allowing himself to be pulled along, Euphemia followed. He had been ushered into a small reception room, Euphemia flapped about him whilst James stood guard by the door, texting Lily.

“Okay, so the top down probably wasn’t the best idea for my hair, but it's still a great ride,” Lily’s voice sounded breathlessly through the door. 

Sirius pressed his ear against the wood, he heard Remus laugh, “Just check I don’t have any bugs in my teeth before we go in. Come on you, you can play with that later.”

Sirius heard a patter of unruly feet and then a light thump, reflexively he reached for the door handle. 

“Come on Teddy,” he heard Lily sing, “if you take that off your head you’ll run into less walls, I promise.” 

He heard Remus chuckle, a door close and it was quiet once more. 

A few minutes elapsed, Sirius checked himself over in a full length mirror that was fixed to one wall, he wiped his clammy hands on his trousers and tried to steady his breathing, he chuckled at the ridiculousness of being nervous to see someone he had known and loved for decades.

“Okay, Lil says everyone is sat down, let’s do this!” James cheered, he went to open a second door when Sirius stopped him.

“Wait,” Sirius said, “I just wanted to say thank you, James. For everything, you’ve never once questioned standing by my side... you’re the brother I always wanted.” 

James stood motionless for a few seconds before tears welled once more in his eyes, instead of letting them fall he grabbed Sirius and hugged him tight. “I love you, mate. I just wish you had been able to do this sooner.”

“Me too,” Sirius agreed as they pulled apart, he wiped a tear from his cheek.

“It’s not entirely true though,” James paused, “there was that brief New Romantic phase you went through in ‘79 that made being your friend publicly quite an ordeal,” he winked.

Sirius laughed and they hugged once more.

“Okay, we can’t make them wait forever,” Sirius straightened his tie one more time and checked his hair in the mirror. “Ready?”

“As ever, my love,” Euphemia smiled, taking Sirius’ arm. 

James raised his eyebrows and grinned, he slipped out of the door, after a few seconds music began to play and Sirius and Euphemia stepped through the doorway.

The trio had entered a light and airy library, pale green walls led up to a domed ceiling, large windows allowed beams of sunlight to dapple the rows of books and dust floated hazily. Chairs had been set up facing a triage of floor to ceiling windows which looked over a lake. It wasn’t a large congregation, the sides had been amalgamated to mask the lack of family on Sirius’ side, mutual friends made up the largest proportion, the effect of almost thirty years of entwined lives. 

Sirius, Euphemia and James began to walk up towards the 'alter,' a writing desk festooned with flowers at which the marriage officiant stood beaming. Sirius' eyes immediately settled on Remus who was approaching more slowly down an opposite aisle, he was flanked by his parents, his father had taken to using a cane which had hampered their progress. Remus was dressed in an exquisite light grey suit with a peach rose buttonhole on his chest.

*****

It was time for the vows, Remus went first, Lily passed him a crisp envelope and he retrieved a sheaf of paper from within, Sirius noticed that his hands were trembling slightly and he longed to reach out and steady them.

Remus cleared his throat and began,

“Sirius when I met you, I thought my life was over. It wasn’t until you stumbled into my life, penniless and soaked to the skin did I realise that it had barely even begun. You are my life. You stuck by me through everything, you were the constant, unflinching source of light that that lanky Yorkshire boy never knew he needed. We grew up together, through the scary times when neither of us knew if there would be a tomorrow, into the best, most beautiful times, you have filled my life with more love and laughter than I ever thought possible. You let me believe I had a future, and in turn you became my future. We’ve been together for almost three decades, and yet I find myself falling more in love with you every day. It has taken us a  _ long time _ to get here but, I wouldn’t trade it for the world, I could live a thousand lifetimes and never ever get bored of calling you my  _ husband. _ ” 

Remus neatly folded the paper and handed it back to Lily, who Sirius noticed was stoically fighting back tears, a snuffling sound from behind him confirmed that her husband had not been so successful. 

Sirius took a brief, shaking breath and retrieved a paper from his pocket, he smoothed it out, reached out and took one of Remus’ hands and began to read.

“Remus, you are the best part of my life, you are the best part of me. You have taught me to be a better person, to fight for what I believe in, to fight for what is right. You have made me the smug trophy husband I always dreamt of becoming,” Remus laughed shaking his head slightly. “Every day for the last 28 years, I have thanked my lucky stars that I met you. From the moment I first laid eyes on you I knew that I never wanted to look away; you are, with all the cliche I can possibly imbue into this sentence: the moon to my stars. You are the love of my life, and I have and will continue to try, every day to deserve you.

*****

Sirius swayed lazily, gazing around at the reception room, he hadn’t realised how late it had gotten and stifled a yawn. He had waved goodbyes at Euphemia and Remus’ parents, some of the other older guests had also gone to bed. Harry and Ginny had put Teddy to bed, Remus had joked that it was good practice for them.

Everyone who was left was merry and tousled, Sirius had held off on drinking too much as he had wanted to remember every second, his husband had not been as inhibited and was dancing with as many people as he could entice onto the dance floor. Despite his sobriety the air had a softened, warm feeling to it, as if he were floating.

He became aware of a figure standing in front of him, a man who looked so much like himself Sirius at first thought it was his own reflection in an oddly placed mirror. He allowed his eyes to focus in the wavering disco lights, he gasped with realisation and took a reflexive step backwards.

“Regulus,” Sirius breathed. 

A small smile formed on his brother’s lips, “Hi Sirius.”

Sirius stood stock-still, in his entire life he never thought he could be this completely and utterly speechless. 

“You coming to dance, husband?” Remus swung an arm around Sirius’ shoulder clumsily, his breath smelt of champagne and strawberries, his gaze had an unfocused sweetness to it. 

“I… Remus...this is…,” Sirius stuttered. 

“Regulus,” Regulus finished for him, extending a hand out to Remus who shook it warmly. 

“Nice to meet you,” Remus slurred slightly, “Regulus… like the star!” he pointed to the ceiling, spilling the champagne he was holding. “That’s funny, he’s like you, darling,” 

“Yes,” Sirius replied through gritted teeth.

Remus seemed to finally sense the tension and looked back and forth between the two men, his eyes suddenly widened with realisation, he straightened against Sirius’ side, “R- Regulus? As in your…” he stared at Sirius, abruptly sober.

“Yes,” Sirius repeated. 

“Oh my g…” Remus breathed, his eyes scanning over every inch of his husband’s emotionless face. 

“Rem-Remus,” Lily spluttered, laughing, “I need you, Harry doesn’t believe me about that time I accidentally stole that Monet sketch from the Musée d'Orsay,” Lily tugged at Remus’ arm playfully, seemingly oblivious to the melodrama unfolding before her.

“Go,” Sirius turned to Remus, he shook his head, dismissing Remus’ protestations, “I’ll be fine, go have fun, I’ll be with you in a minute.”

“Okay,” Remus murmured, he turned and began following Lily, looking back to the two brothers as we went.

“He seems nice,” Regulus motioned.

“Let’s get a drink,” Sirius replied stiffly, pushing past Regulus towards the bar. 

*****

“How did you find me?” Sirius asked.

“Well, Dora was the one who told me about today, she said if I wanted to come it had to be later when you had a few drinks in you.” 

“You seem well, you look li…”

“Like him?” Regulus finished. “Yeah, so do you.”

Sirius swallowed and took another tentative sip, “I heard about mother,” he muttered. 

“Ah yes, she talked about you… at the end.” 

“I don’t want to know,” Sirius replied quickly.

“I heard you have a son,” Regulus prompted.

Sirius couldn't stop the corners of his mouth curling, “His name is Teddy,” Sirius said, “We’ve had him for almost a year.”

“Congratulations, I’d love to meet him some time,” Regulus smiled.

Sirius stiffened and gazed at the hazy crowd before him, none of these people knew where he came from, no one knew how he had lived the first few years of his life. Over time, he had gradually disclosed to Remus the years of mental and physical abuse that he had suffered at the hands of his violent father and spiteful mother. Remus had held his hand and kissed away the tears they both had shed, it had felt therapeutic to have unloaded the baggage he had held for so long. Now, however, there was someone who had experienced the same treatment he had, who had withstood the same stinging whips and cutting words. For so long he had resented his brother, whilst Sirius had stood up to their parents and bore what he thought was the brunt of their wickedness he had watched as his brother simpered and submitted to their will. Now he realised that the only ones who had benefited from the rift between them were his parents, now they were gone there was nothing to stop them reconciling other than his own pride.

“You found your family, Sirius,” Regulus said quietly, they both looked over to where Remus and Lily were uncoordinatedly dancing with one another to ‘It’s Raining Men’ , James was sat at a table filming them on his phone. Next to him, Ginny was sat on Harry’s lap, his hands wrapped around her rounded belly, head buried into her back in embarrassment, they were all in hysterics. 

“I know you don't need me,” Regulus continued, “but we are brothers and I... love you, I want to be in your life, if you'll let me.”

A familiar tune began to emanate from the speakers, Sirius looked up and caught Remus’ eye, he raised an eyebrow at him and grinned. 

“It might take time,” Sirius said, turning to Regulus. “But for both our sakes, and the sake of my son, I want you in my life too.”

Regulus exhaled in relief, “Thank you Sirius, it means a lot.”

“Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go and dance with my husband.” Sirius grinned at his brother and turned on his heel. He took Remus by the hand and twirled him into the dance floor as the lyrics began:

_ Home is where I want to be _ _  
_ _ Pick me up and turn me around _ _  
_ _ I feel numb, born with a weak heart _ _  
_ _ I guess I must be having fun _

_  
_ _ The less we say about it the better _ _  
_ _ Make it up as we go along _ _  
_ _ Feet on the ground, head in the sky _ _  
_ _ It's okay, I know nothing's wrong, nothing _

_  
_ _ Oh! I got plenty of time _ _  
_ _ Oh! You got light in your eyes _ _  
_ _ And you're standing here beside me _ _  
_ _ I love the passing of time _ _  
_ _ Never for money, always for love _ _  
_ _ Cover up and say goodnight, say goodnight _

_  
_ _ Home, is where I want to be _ _  
_ _ But I guess I'm already there _ _  
_ _ I come home, she lifted up her wings _ _  
_ _ I guess that this must be the place _ _  
_ _ I can't tell one from the other _ _  
_ _ I find you, or you find me? _

_  
_ _ There was a time before we were born _ _  
_ _ If someone asks, this is where I'll be, where I'll be oh! _ _  
_ _ We drift in and out _ _  
_ _ Oh! Sing into my mouth _ _  
_ _ Out of all those kinds of people _ _  
_ _ You got a face with a view _ _  
_ _ I'm just an animal looking for a home and _ _  
_ _ Share the same space for a minute or two _ _  
_ _ And you love me till my heart stops _ _  
_ _ Love me till I'm dead _ _  
_ _ Eyes that light up _ _  
_ _ Eyes look through you _ __  
_ Cover up the blank spots _ _  
_ __ Hit me on the head I got ooh! 

**Author's Note:**

> The song at the end is This Must Be The Place by Talking Heads, 1983


End file.
